MMoM Day 1: Fade, SPN, Dean/Castiel, Sam/Castiel

[moonlettuce]

Title: Fade
Author: Claire
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, unrequited Sam/Castiel
Rating: R
Word Count: 577
Summary: Because Sam looked and now he can't stop thinking about it...
Notes: Written for Day 1 of mmom

It's not that Sam means to think about his brother having sex. It's not that he even wants to, he just can't stop himself. It wasn't like he'd been purposefully spying on them back at Bobby's. Honestly, it wasn't. Well, not entirely. Hell, he hadn't even known they were outside at first, not until he'd heard the soft moan coming from behind a pile of junkers. And he knows he shouldn't have looked. Knows that, once he'd realised it was Dean he'd heard, he should have walked back into the house, picked up the book he'd been reading and never thought about it again. But he couldn't help it. He couldn't help it because if it was Dean out there, then Castiel was with him.

So he'd looked. Breath held and eyes wide and hoping like hell that Dean didn't see him, he'd looked. Which means he knows the image that keeps running through his mind is his own fault. Knows the image of Castiel on his knees in front of Dean, and Dean with his head tilted back, eyes closed and cock sliding in and out of Castiel's mouth, hard and slick, is his own fault. Knows the replay of Dean's fingers running through Cas's hair as he subtly guides the angel, words like yes and god and Cas-- slipping from Dean's lips, is his own fault.

Thing is, Sam knows that if he could only get it out of his mind, he'll be fine. If he could only stop thinking about it. But he can't.

He sees Castiel, standing too close to Dean in Bobby's kitchen, and he wants to ask them if they realise how obvious they are, if they realise they're shouting out to the world with every touch that lingers just too long. But mainly, he wants to ask Dean if Cas's mouth is as soft as it looks.

Bobby thinks they're good for each other. He's already commented to Sam that maybe Dean'll stop diving into situations head first, now that he's got Castiel's calming influence. If he's being honest, Sam just thinks it'll make Dean worse, make him more willing to jump in without thinking. Especially if Castiel is going to be there to pull him out. And he's trying not to think about the other comment Bobby made. Trying not to think about the An' maybe Dean'll pull the stick outta the angel's ass-- Because thinking about Castiel's ass leads Sam right back to square one: with an image of Cas on his knees running through Sam's head and his cock hard as rock.

And maybe he should feel guilty, as he closes his eyes and wraps his fingers around his dick, skin sliding over skin, as he imagines Castiel's legs around his waist; imagines the angel under him, hard and hot and wanting. Even if Sam knows it's never going to happen, even if he knows that Castiel is never going to look at anyone else so long as Dean is next to him.

After all, Dean's the reason Cas went into Hell, the reason he turned his back on Heaven. Dean's the first one Castiel looks to when the bodies are around them and the smoke has cleared, and the last one he takes his eyes off when he has to leave them. Castiel is Dean's, in every way that matters. Sam knows that, he does. It still doesn't stop him from wanting it, though.

Comments

[goth-clark.livejournal.com]

Hot is too small a word. Thanks for sharing.

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

Wow! Beautiful but angsty. Poor Sam.

[tonko-ni.livejournal.com]

This is really nice, and I'm not sure I can express just how nice--see, I recently realized I have a very specialized and situational Sam/Cas/Dean kink, and this slots right in there.

[cherazz22784.livejournal.com]

Oh Claire, you are always and forever made of win! Anything to do with Sam spying them in such an intimate act and then not being able to resist touching himself is so so hot!

And the bit at the end about how much Dean means to Castiel and vice versa is something that never fails to make me melt ^_^

-mems-

[qthelights.livejournal.com]

Nnngh.. you made sad porn. I love sad porn.

I can't believe I'm saying this.. but poor Sammy.

On the other hand.. oh god, Dean and Cas behind a pile of cars.. gah *goes to happy place*

[oywidapoodles.livejournal.com]

Wow. Yes. This was awesome.

[tracy-loo-who.livejournal.com]

Oh shit, poor Sammy. I've never shipped Sam/Castiel but this is as close as I've ever come, I think. :(

[pretentious-cow.livejournal.com]

There was a fandom secret yesterday that suggested Cas/Dean lovers tend to stick a 'never existed/is ded/DIAF/Sam who the eff is Sam?' sticker over his mouth and then shove him in a convenient cupboard until he dies of death.

I disagree with that suggestion and you have just blown it to complete smithereens.

Alright, ok Sam is being a bit of a Peeping Tom and well..., having a fiddle while thinking of his brother's boyfriend. But who hasn't when your brother's boyfriend is a bit of and Angel with a (possible) dirty face?

Anyway I don't care, loved every word and if you will kindly excuse me, I am going to rummage through your fics because I am looking for stuff to print out to take on my holiday to Spain next week.



I also think it is now time to put the bottle of alcoholic beverage outside of arm's reach.

[veggie17.livejournal.com]

Oh, Sammy. I just want to embrace him and never let go. You deserve someone, too. :(

(but MMMMM, Dean and Cas sneaking outside for a quick BJ...)

[timey-wimey-kid.livejournal.com]

Oh poor Sammy! :'( Yeh, that's why I prefer shipping Sassy as a cracky bromance. Otherwise it's a one-sided angst.

[dragonlit.livejournal.com]

This is gorgeous, sad and hot.

[sycophantastic.livejournal.com]

I love MMOM because it means you'll be posting! Just warning you, I'll be stalking all your MMOM posts this month. :D

Mmmmm, Dean/Cas, and also, poor Sam. I mean, I'm glad Cas belongs to Dean in every way that matters, but damnit Sam, you break my heart!

Definitely hot... and I'm looking forward to the rest. :)

[chaviola.livejournal.com]

AW unrequited sassy makes me sad

[kaylbunny.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that last paragraph slayed me. Love it!

[bonestoss.livejournal.com]

i actually really, really like sam/castiel, so this made me very happy to read. : ) Thanks for writing it!

[samjohnsson.livejournal.com]

Poor Sam.

Lucky us, with that imagery.

[laura-trekkie.livejournal.com]

I can certainly see why Sam might have that problem after seeing what he did... I imagine I'd have similar thoughts in his place ;).

Laura.

[chellefic.livejournal.com]

Poor Sam, but yes, Cas is Dean's is Dean's in every way that matters.

I loved Sam's perceptions of them.

[secondplatypus.livejournal.com]

Ouch! So painful, so lovely.