moonlettuce | Nothing seems to fill this place...

Title: Moments In Time: Destination Anywhere
Episode: Five By Five
Author: Claire

This shouldn't have happened. None of this should have happened. Giles should have told him when Faith had come out of her coma. He was her Watcher, for god's sake. If he didn't need to know, then who did? And he wanted to say that. To snatch the phone out of Angel's hand and demand to know why Giles didn't tell him. But Angel had already hung up and Giles had gone.

He shouldn't have agreed to run either. Should have gone with his first instincts; that his place was by Angel's side through all of this. But above all, he should have known that Faith would use him to get to Angel. That out of the three of them, the one she had the most history with wasn't Angel, or Cordelia, it was him. And he should have known it when Dennis wouldn't let them into Cordy's apartment. Should have known his Slayer was nearby. But he didn't. Didn't know any of it. And now he doesn't know if Cordelia's all right, or if she's injured. And he doesn't know where Angel is... And if he'd only thought it through!

But it's hard to think now, with the scarf in his mouth that's sodden with saliva. He can feel the sweat trickling down his face, mixing with the blood. His lip is throbbing where it's pushed out by the knot behind his teeth and the rope is biting into his wrists. If only she'd take away the gag then he'd talk to her, try to make her see that this isn't going to get her anywhere. And he wants to talk to her, because under it all he's still her Watcher, still feels responsible for her...

He can't stop the groan from escaping as she lands in his lap, straddling him, grinding her body into his. Keeping her eyes locked with his, she slides two fingers into her mouth, wetting them, before pressing them against the cut under his eye, pushing it, prodding it. He tries not to react, to not give her the satisfaction of seeing him wince, but he fails.

"All these little cuts and bruises just bring out the mother in me."

The smile she gives him is dazzling, bright, too bright and he nearly zones on the whiteness, unable to see anything else. But the pain that blossoms across his cheek brings him back to reality. Pain that's rubbed away by the soothing warmth that cups his cheeks as she cradles his face in her hands.

"Come on. Now, now. Don't poop out on me, damn it!"

But he can't help it; he just wants to shut down. His entire body is aching from where she's hit him and he's sure she's broken at least a couple of his ribs, could swear he heard them crack as she was swinging whatever she could find at him. And the fingers move from his cheek, trailing down his chest until they're lying on his crotch. And Faith smiles at him, smiles as she wraps her fingers around his genitals and squeezes. And, jesus! He'd do anything, just to make the pain go away. And he's not above begging, would if she removed the gag. He's begged before, and he'll do it again, just make the pain stop.

"Otherwise this is all just going to be over too fast! And you'll be dead and I'll be... bored."

But the grip tightens, and please stop, oh god, please stop.

"Come on, Wesley! Where's that stiff upper lip?"

And for some reason it's not Faith's voice he's hearing, but his father's.

//Damn it, boy, be a man!...

I didn't raise you to be a nancy-boy.//

He tries to stop the tears from pricking at his eyes, trying to blink them away before she sees, because weakness is not tolerated, and...

//I'll be good, Daddy, just please make it stop.//

And finally... finally, the pain recedes as Faith pushes herself off him. "Now... we've only done one of the five basic torture groups. We've done blunt." He can feel the palm of her hand pressing against his forehead, and the throbbing pounding through his head is pushing back just as hard. "But that still leaves sharp, cold, hot, and loud. Have a preference?"

And she's looking at him expectantly so he tries to make the words form, but can't speak around the lump sitting on his tongue.

"Ah, that's great. It's always better with audience participation."

The sweet air floods into his mouth as he tries to swallow, but his throat hurts too much.

And Faith is kneeling between his knees, looking up at him like he's a favoured uncle. "May I take your order, please?"

He tries to make the words come but his throat closes. Leaning over, he spits on the floor, clearing his mouth, and when the words come they're hushed and soft. "I was your Watcher, Faith. I know the real you. And even if you kill me there's just one thing I want you to remember." One thing he needs her to know.

"What's that, love?"

And he knows what he should say to her, try to calm her, to get her to let him go. But he's through with begging, has had enough to last him several lifetimes. And if he's going to die here, then there's just one thing he wants to say to the woman about to kill him. "You... are a piece of shi-"

But the words are cut off by the knot being stuffed back into his mouth. "You should talk! Huh? I guess I'll just have to try a little harder!"

And then she's walking away from him, and his head hurts too much to try to follow her but he can hear a crash of glass and he knows which option she's chosen.

"We'll switch to sharp for a while."

As the glass cuts into his skin all he can think of is Angel and all the things he never got to say. And he can't hold back any longer as the tears start to fall.

End MIT: Destination Anywhere

Previous Moments In Time can be found here