MMoM Day 02 - Honoured Guest, Torchwood
May. 2nd, 2008 12:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moonlettuceTitle: Honoured Guest
Author: Claire
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: PG
Summary: It's the highest honour they could give him.
Toshiko Sato looked up from her computer as the noise of grinding cogs rang through the Hub, signalling the return of the others.
"How did it--" Her words trailed off as a bedraggled Owen stomped in, cursing under his breath and dripping white slime with every footstep. "Owen?"
Owen held up a hand without stopping, sharply cutting off any questions Tosh had. "Don't ask," he snapped as he walked past her. "Just don't fucking ask." He carried on, still muttering under his breath as he headed towards the showers.
Tosh waited until Owen was out of earshot before she turned to the other three. "What happened? And what's he covered in?"
Gwen barely managed to keep a straight face for two seconds before she started laughing. "Oh, Tosh, you should have seen it," she managed to say between giggles.
"What. Happened?" As far as Tosh was concerned it should have been a simple ride out to the Beacons to find the Bavaran ship that had contacted them. 'A little bit of medical help,' the captain had said.
"Turns out one of the crew was pregnant," Jack explained, throwing a look of gratitude at Ianto, who was taking Jack's greatcoat to hang up. "Their medic's on leave and they needed a bit of help with the delivery."
"Nothing went wrong, did it?" Jack had said that the Bavarans were a peaceful race but Tosh knew Owen, and more importantly his inability to keep his mouth shut, too well.
"On the contrary," Jack answered, smiling, "everything went perfectly. A beautiful baby boy. "
"Who will unfortunately now be lumbered with the name 'Owen' for the rest of his life," commented Ianto on his way back down from Jack's office.
"So what was with all the--" Tosh mimed the dripping, trying to decide on what to say and finally falling back on "--slime?"
"Well," said Gwen, having finally got herself under control, "the Bavarans were so appreciative of Owen's help that they gave him the highest honour they could think of."
"Which apparently means the sharing of their personal essences with said honoured person," Jack continued.
Tosh frowned. "I don't get it."
"They wanked on him!" Gwen exclaimed, voice halfway between a shriek and hysterical laughter. "They bloody wanked on him!"
Tosh's eyes widened. Well, that explained Owen's reaction.
"Apparently being masturbated on by grateful aliens isn't Owen's idea of a good time," Ianto said, the corners of his mouth very careful not turning upwards.
"Well, I don't exactly blame him," Tosh said, unsure whether to be horrified on Owen's behalf or amused. She was ashamed to admit that amused was winning.
"Oh, I don't know," Ianto murmured, throwing a glance at Jack who just grinned. "And that reminds me, we'll need to get the car cleaned professionally; I am not trying to get that mess out of the back seat, I had enough trouble last time."
Amusement having finally won out, Tosh threw a glare at the piece of equipment on her workstation that had caused her to miss all the fun. "At least tell me you took photos."
"Better than that," Gwen replied, holding up her phone. "Video."
Tosh just grinned. At least the day wasn't going to be a total waste.
Author: Claire
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: PG
Summary: It's the highest honour they could give him.
Toshiko Sato looked up from her computer as the noise of grinding cogs rang through the Hub, signalling the return of the others.
"How did it--" Her words trailed off as a bedraggled Owen stomped in, cursing under his breath and dripping white slime with every footstep. "Owen?"
Owen held up a hand without stopping, sharply cutting off any questions Tosh had. "Don't ask," he snapped as he walked past her. "Just don't fucking ask." He carried on, still muttering under his breath as he headed towards the showers.
Tosh waited until Owen was out of earshot before she turned to the other three. "What happened? And what's he covered in?"
Gwen barely managed to keep a straight face for two seconds before she started laughing. "Oh, Tosh, you should have seen it," she managed to say between giggles.
"What. Happened?" As far as Tosh was concerned it should have been a simple ride out to the Beacons to find the Bavaran ship that had contacted them. 'A little bit of medical help,' the captain had said.
"Turns out one of the crew was pregnant," Jack explained, throwing a look of gratitude at Ianto, who was taking Jack's greatcoat to hang up. "Their medic's on leave and they needed a bit of help with the delivery."
"Nothing went wrong, did it?" Jack had said that the Bavarans were a peaceful race but Tosh knew Owen, and more importantly his inability to keep his mouth shut, too well.
"On the contrary," Jack answered, smiling, "everything went perfectly. A beautiful baby boy. "
"Who will unfortunately now be lumbered with the name 'Owen' for the rest of his life," commented Ianto on his way back down from Jack's office.
"So what was with all the--" Tosh mimed the dripping, trying to decide on what to say and finally falling back on "--slime?"
"Well," said Gwen, having finally got herself under control, "the Bavarans were so appreciative of Owen's help that they gave him the highest honour they could think of."
"Which apparently means the sharing of their personal essences with said honoured person," Jack continued.
Tosh frowned. "I don't get it."
"They wanked on him!" Gwen exclaimed, voice halfway between a shriek and hysterical laughter. "They bloody wanked on him!"
Tosh's eyes widened. Well, that explained Owen's reaction.
"Apparently being masturbated on by grateful aliens isn't Owen's idea of a good time," Ianto said, the corners of his mouth very careful not turning upwards.
"Well, I don't exactly blame him," Tosh said, unsure whether to be horrified on Owen's behalf or amused. She was ashamed to admit that amused was winning.
"Oh, I don't know," Ianto murmured, throwing a glance at Jack who just grinned. "And that reminds me, we'll need to get the car cleaned professionally; I am not trying to get that mess out of the back seat, I had enough trouble last time."
Amusement having finally won out, Tosh threw a glare at the piece of equipment on her workstation that had caused her to miss all the fun. "At least tell me you took photos."
"Better than that," Gwen replied, holding up her phone. "Video."
Tosh just grinned. At least the day wasn't going to be a total waste.
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-01 11:54 pm (UTC)You know, this could actually have happened on Torchwood and it wouldn't have been that out of place. Poor Owen. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!! :)
no subject
Date: 2008-05-02 08:36 pm (UTC)::grin::
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Date: 2008-05-02 02:00 pm (UTC)Poor Owen *g*.
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Date: 2008-05-02 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-03 09:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-04 12:38 am (UTC)