moonlettuce: (Tremors: El Blanco)
[personal profile] moonlettuce
So, at the beginning of December was the Christmas party of [livejournal.com profile] beren_writes, [livejournal.com profile] thwax and Beren's R. Since I couldn't be there in person, I decided to be there in spirit, and what better spirit, thought I, than texted Graboid fic...

Title: For the World is Hollow and What the Hell Was I Drinking Last Night?
Author: Claire
Fandom: Tremors
Pairing: Tyler/El Blanco
Rating: R
Summary: In which Burt and Tyler get drunk, and then there are consequences
Notes: Written for the attendees of the twins's Christmas party. Because I couldn't be there and I missed you all ::smooches::

Tyler squirmed, the throb between his asscheeks telling him that he did something fun last night and the throb in his head confirming it had something to do with alcohol. There was a shuffling behind him and Tyler froze.

The last thing he remembered was him and Burt and the seven crates of beer from that shop in Bixby that had been given to them for stopping the mixmaster-enhanced rats from eating the customers.

Oh god, he thought, please don't say I slept with Burt. He loved Burt like a friend, like a brother. But definitely not like someone he wanted to go down on for an hour before being fucked into oblivion.

Keeping his eyes closed and his breathing steady in the frantic hope that whoever was with him would think he was still asleep, Tyler tried to remember exactly what had happened.

He remembered the beer and the hotdogs in the back of Burt's freezer that had, for some inexplicable reason, tasted like chicken. There'd been mocking on Tyler's part when he'd found out that Burt's entire music collection consisted of seven Reba McEntire albums. There'd been mocking on Burt's part when he found out that one o the reasons Tyler was so well known on the NASCAR circuit had less to do with Tyler's driving and more to do with an incident with his mechanic that was forever tagged in people's memories as 'that thing with the rubber glove and the jelly'.

Then there had been more beer and Burt telling Tyler that he thought Jodi had a great rack and he'd like to bounce her up and down on his lap, and Tyler encouraging him to go for it. Of course, Tyler had then reciprocated Burt's great passionate declaration with the secret that he was in love with El Blanco and wanted nothing more than to feel the Graboid's tongues sliding over his skin and inside him, and Burt encouraging him to--

Well, fuck, Tyler thought, the rest of the night coming back to him in a blaze of Technicolor glory. He remembered staggering out of Burt's and shouting for El Blanco, although he tried desperately to unremember the fact that the phrase 'my three-tongued love monkey' may have been used.

He remembered the rumbling in the ground, earth shaking beneath him and standing there with his arms stretched out. And he remembered the fact that Blanco's tongues were surprisingly deft at removing drunk people's clothes, squashing down on the brief flare of apparent jealousy and the curiosity at wondering whether or not that meant that Blanco had had, in the past, other opportunities to remove clothes from drunkards.

Not, Tyler thought, that he'd be doing that again. If what Tyler thought had happened actually had happened, then from here on in, El Blanco was a one-man Graboid.

His eyes still closed, Tyler turned his head slowly, part of him still worried that if he opened them it would be Burt's face looking back at him. A soft whuffling noise, laced with sympathy and humour, met him and Tyler finally cracked his eyes open.

Oh thank god, he thought, relief flooding through him as one of Blanco's tongues reached out, patting his face soothingly. "Yeah," he said, smiling. "Me too."

Date: 2008-12-27 10:33 pm (UTC)
alyse: (bunny - love)
From: [personal profile] alyse
You're a scary, scary, (wonderfully) scary individual, m'dear.

Date: 2008-12-27 10:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonlettuce.livejournal.com
::grin:: I find that Graboid!porn makes every bad thing better :D

Date: 2008-12-27 10:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] temaris.livejournal.com
That *still* makes me laugh -- mostly for Mattie running around madly going 'we've got 2 5 and 7, where's one? where's one!' and so on ::g:: and the mad scatter for phones.

You practically *were* there, hon :-)

ETA: you know, to convey the full glory of the receipt and the round reading session that followed, you should mark where each text broke ::g::

Date: 2008-12-27 10:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonlettuce.livejournal.com
Ooh, I could do a director's commentary version ::grin::

Date: 2008-12-28 10:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xandutch.livejournal.com
That sounds hilarious!

Date: 2008-12-27 11:49 pm (UTC)
ext_5650: Six of my favourite characters (Default)
From: [identity profile] phantomas.livejournal.com
'my three-tongued love monkey' .......
...from here on in, El Blanco was a one-man Graboid.


*dies* yes, YES!

Date: 2008-12-28 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] realpestilence.livejournal.com
You win, for the title alone! *loves classic ST as much as classic BSG* \o/



That being said, this is very funny..."three-tongued love monkey"...and El Blanco's amazing er, *facility* with said appendages...*giggles*
From: [identity profile] moonlettuce.livejournal.com
::grin:: The fic's actually based on the TV series, as opposed to any of the movies. Although Blanco is introduced in Tremors 3, Tyler doesn't come into it until the series, so it's the series I write :D
From: [identity profile] realpestilence.livejournal.com
I haven't owned a tv in many years, so I didn't know it had been made into a series. And they made THREE movies...or more? I loved the first one, because it was such a *fun* ride, great stock characters...kind of a tribute to the genre, you know? I'm not sure how well it would lend itself to a series, as those things tend to get cheesier as they go.
From: [identity profile] moonlettuce.livejournal.com
Four movies and a TV series. They have a script for 5, but no budget :(

And the TV series is totally cheesy, but that's part of why I love it so.

Also: points you here (http://moonlettuce.livejournal.com/573726.html).

Date: 2008-12-28 10:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xandutch.livejournal.com
Only you. And oh, how we love you for it! three-tongued love monkey is a keeper. *G*

Date: 2008-12-28 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonlettuce.livejournal.com
One of these days I'll do a serious version of this pairing ;)

Date: 2008-12-30 09:57 am (UTC)

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