![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moonlettuceTitle: Moments In Time: Passing Through Gethsemane
Episode: Sanctuary
Author: Claire
Wesley doesn't know how long he's stood outside the building, willing himself to go in. Fingering the syringe in his pocket, he takes a deep breath. This is the moment he's wanted his entire life. The Watchers begging him for something, admitting that they need him. And all he has to do is betray his heart. Faith deserves to be taken back to England to stand trial in front of the Council. No matter what Angel says she needs to pay for what she did, and the justice system of the US is in no way equipped to deal with a Slayer. The Watchers know what she is, what she's capable of. They can make sure that she never hurts anyone again.
He knows Angel will never forgive him, that Angel believes Faith is redeemable in some way. Well, let Angel think that, it wasn't the vampire's flesh she was slicing through with a broken piece of glass last night. It wasn't Angel who woke up this morning stuck to the sheets where the blood had dried, and barely able to open his eye because of the swelling. It wasn't Angel who just spent the entire night in the emergency room nearly crying in pain and lying through his teeth to stop the doctors from calling the police. Faith needs to learn that her actions have consequences, that being a Slayer means responsibility and duty, that failure is not an option... Wesley stops suddenly. Oh god, he sounds like his father...
//Being a Watcher is a great responsibility, Wesley...//
//It is the duty of our family, boy...//
//I will not have a failure for a son...//
//You have shamed me with your inadequacy...//
This is the chance to make his father see the kind of man he is. The man who brings the rogue Slayer back under the control of the Council. The man who stops Faith from committing any more atrocities... The man who betrays the only person who's ever meant something to him.
Taking a deep breath, Wesley strides towards Angel Investigations. Pushing open the door he heads straight through the outer office towards Angel's flat, stopping as he sees Faith standing there, staring down the stairs. "Faith?" And even though he can feel each mark she made blooming on his skin he's still proud of the fact that his voice doesn't waiver. "Going somewhere?" Like to hell, maybe? And he knows it's childish but he wants her to run, wants to her to justify him handing her to the Council.
"No, just wanted to be alone."
"Angel downstairs?"
"Yeah."
Why? Why is he downstairs when you're up here? Or does he trust you that much he knows you're not going to run anywhere? "Right."
//The Council is willing to reinstate you. Return you to your rightful position as Watcher.//
Motioning Faith down the stairs Wesley runs a finger along the cool body syringe, absently wondering where would be best to stick the needle in.
//You'll signal us as soon as it's done, and we come in and take care of the rest.//
Faith walking in front of him, trusting almost. And Wesley nearly laughs.
//Loyalty to a vampire now, is it?//
Loyalty? No, something much more.
//We have no quarrel with the vampire...
...Unless you count the fact that he *is* a vampire!//
But he knows these men, knows they will kill Angel if they have the chance. And that one fact is the thing saving Faith from being handed over to them without a second thought.
He can hear voices as they near the bottom of the stairs. Buffy? Wesley frowns. So the fates weren't content with throwing just Faith at him, they had to throw his other failure as a Watcher in as well?
Faith's reached the bottom of the stairs now and Wesley can hear Angel's voice.
"Faith, I told you..."
Pushing her further into the room Wesley steps out from behind her. "Slight change of plan," he says as he turns to Faith. "Get your coat."
"Wesley, what's going on?"
What's going on? How to explain that he's just been offered his life back? How to explain that all he has to do is irrevocably betray Angel's trust? How to explain that he's just been made to chose between his past and his present, between his life and his heart? "In about twenty minutes the Council's Operations Team is coming in here. They'll expect to find you gone," he takes the syringe out of his pocket and holds it up, "and her drugged."
"How many?"
"Three." He turns to the blonde looking at him expectantly. "Hello, Buffy. I'm afraid you've come at a bad time."
She nods. "I'm feeling that."
"Why did you bring them here?"
Because up until 30 seconds ago he wasn't sure what he would choose. It's not exactly the thing to say in this circumstance. "Couldn't shake them. Had to pretend I was helping them."
"Why aren't you?" Because even Angel knows this is what he wants. To be accepted back into the Watchers. He spent his entire life training to be a Watcher, and when they cast him out Wesley was lost. Now, they're offering to take him back. So why isn't he helping them? Because given a choice between the Watchers and Angel there was no contest. How to put it into words that won't reveal what he feels? And then Buffy saves him from having to answer at all.
"I know these guys. They're killers."
"They've surrounded the building." And he has to stop himself from throwing Buffy a grateful look.
"I'll check the sewers, if they're clear we all head out." Both Wesley and Buffy nod at Angel's words. "Faith?"
But Faith is gone, run while no one was looking.
"She must have slipped out." Wesley doesn't blame her. All he wants to do is run as well.
"She'd head for the roof."
Wesley tries to stop the bitterness from rising in him at Angel's words, at Angel's assumption that he'd know where Faith would go. After all, Wesley was only her Watcher, it's not as though he would know what she would do.
Buffy turns to go and Angel moves to follow her. "They may have it covered."
Of course they'll have it covered. They're the Special Ops Team, they'll have *everything* covered. But Wesley doesn't say it. All he does is stop Angel from following, laying a hand on the vampire's arm. "We need a plan. Buffy can protect Faith."
Angel turns towards the sewer entrance: "I'm not sure that's her agenda."
Then she can beat the shit out of her and drag back her broken body, either way works for Wesley at this point. "The sewers are still our best route."
"If they don't know about our access." Angel doesn't turn behind him to see if Wesley's following.
If they don't know about the sewer access, if they don't realise that Wesley would betray the Watchers before he betrayed Angel, if, if, if.
Angel opens the sewer hatch and looks down into the darkness, and suddenly Wesley is struck by the urge to say something. He knows what the Special Ops Team is like, they won't take it kindly that he lied to them, betrayed them, and he wants Angel to know in case anything happens. Working up enough moisture into his dry mouth, Wesley looks at Angel, seeing dark eyes staring back. "Angel, it wasn't for her."
"I know."
Do you, Angel? Do you *really* know? Do you know that I dream of cool fingers and skin against mine? "It's because I trust you."
Angel looks at him, and Wesley can feel the words turn to ash in his mouth. He's given too much of himself away and he needs to say anything to take back the words. "Well, more than three gun-toting maniacs at any rate." Better to let Angel think what he wants as long as it's not the truth. Better that the words had never left Wesley's lips in the first place. Because the truth only counts if it's said aloud. He learned that lesson at an early age, burned into him by condescending voices and hands that shouldn't touch.
Angel looks at him, finally nodding before dropping down into the sewers. Wesley peers after him, trying desperately to stem the pounding in his chest and the voice telling him to run as far as he can as fast as he can. Ignoring the voice and closing his eyes briefly, Wesley barely stops himself from following Angel into the darkness.
//It's because I trust you.//
The words play themselves over in his mind. It's been so long since those words meant anything to him and they felt strange on his tongue. But Wesley guesses the truth will do that sometimes.
His musing interrupted by a noise coming from the sewer entrance, he tenses momentarily as Angel appears.
And he can't tear his eyes away as the vampire emerges into the light.
//It's because I trust you.//
I trust you. I... love you. They're the words he wants to say, but doesn't dare. Not now, with the Council's team about to storm in. Not ever, with the shadow of Buffy looming so heavily. But he imagines himself saying them. And he imagines Angel holding him, caressing him, *wanting* him. But Angel isn't holding him, and Wesley is jolted back to reality by the sound of gunshots.
"That's coming from the roof."
And then it's coming from inside as one of the Special Ops Team bursts in, shooting at them as they dive for cover.
"I didn't give you the signal." But Wesley knows they weren't going to wait for a signal. Is it so obvious to everyone but Angel how he feels, that he would never turn his back, never betray him?
"Shut it." And the black-clad figure's lifting a crossbow, pointing it at Angel. "Vampire."
"Weatherby, listen to reason." Just don't fire. Oh god, please don't fire.
"Reason? A Watcher working for a vampire? It's perversion."
He can hardly contain the laugh that nearly escapes. If Weatherby thinks working for a vampire is perversion, then what would he think about everything else Wesley wants to do to Angel? "Weatherby..."
"Do the sacred oaths you swore as a Watcher mean nothing to you now?"
Do they? And Wesley knows the answer. Knows what he is even without working for the Council. Knows that the Council no longer define him. That he defines himself. "As a matter of fact they do. I swore to protect the innocent." He's only just realised that Faith falls into that category as well. For all her brashness and bravado Faith is still just a child, an innocent child. He turns to Angel quickly. "Get to the roof. Help them."
"What?"
"Now!" Because, like it or not, the Council is his problem and he needs to deal with them. Because he's been running from them since that night in Sunnydale and it's time to face up to the past.
As Angel runs for the stairs Wesley heads for cover behind a pillar.
"Bastard!"
Well, it's nice to know what Weatherby really thinks of him. Pulling the syringe out of his pocket, Wesley uncaps it, throwing it at Weatherby and smiling when it slides into the side of his neck, causing the other man to drop his gun. "180." The muttered comment just slips out. Walking up to the swaying Weatherby, Wesley punches him, the smile turning into a grin as the other Watcher drops to the floor. "That's for calling me a ponce." And for the first time since Faith reappeared in his life, Wesley knows he's made the right choices, knows he's finally found his peace with what happened in Sunnydale. He just hopes if they survive this, that Faith can find it, too.
End MIT: Passing Through Gethsemane
Other Moments In Time can be found here
Episode: Sanctuary
Author: Claire
Wesley doesn't know how long he's stood outside the building, willing himself to go in. Fingering the syringe in his pocket, he takes a deep breath. This is the moment he's wanted his entire life. The Watchers begging him for something, admitting that they need him. And all he has to do is betray his heart. Faith deserves to be taken back to England to stand trial in front of the Council. No matter what Angel says she needs to pay for what she did, and the justice system of the US is in no way equipped to deal with a Slayer. The Watchers know what she is, what she's capable of. They can make sure that she never hurts anyone again.
He knows Angel will never forgive him, that Angel believes Faith is redeemable in some way. Well, let Angel think that, it wasn't the vampire's flesh she was slicing through with a broken piece of glass last night. It wasn't Angel who woke up this morning stuck to the sheets where the blood had dried, and barely able to open his eye because of the swelling. It wasn't Angel who just spent the entire night in the emergency room nearly crying in pain and lying through his teeth to stop the doctors from calling the police. Faith needs to learn that her actions have consequences, that being a Slayer means responsibility and duty, that failure is not an option... Wesley stops suddenly. Oh god, he sounds like his father...
//Being a Watcher is a great responsibility, Wesley...//
//It is the duty of our family, boy...//
//I will not have a failure for a son...//
//You have shamed me with your inadequacy...//
This is the chance to make his father see the kind of man he is. The man who brings the rogue Slayer back under the control of the Council. The man who stops Faith from committing any more atrocities... The man who betrays the only person who's ever meant something to him.
Taking a deep breath, Wesley strides towards Angel Investigations. Pushing open the door he heads straight through the outer office towards Angel's flat, stopping as he sees Faith standing there, staring down the stairs. "Faith?" And even though he can feel each mark she made blooming on his skin he's still proud of the fact that his voice doesn't waiver. "Going somewhere?" Like to hell, maybe? And he knows it's childish but he wants her to run, wants to her to justify him handing her to the Council.
"No, just wanted to be alone."
"Angel downstairs?"
"Yeah."
Why? Why is he downstairs when you're up here? Or does he trust you that much he knows you're not going to run anywhere? "Right."
//The Council is willing to reinstate you. Return you to your rightful position as Watcher.//
Motioning Faith down the stairs Wesley runs a finger along the cool body syringe, absently wondering where would be best to stick the needle in.
//You'll signal us as soon as it's done, and we come in and take care of the rest.//
Faith walking in front of him, trusting almost. And Wesley nearly laughs.
//Loyalty to a vampire now, is it?//
Loyalty? No, something much more.
//We have no quarrel with the vampire...
...Unless you count the fact that he *is* a vampire!//
But he knows these men, knows they will kill Angel if they have the chance. And that one fact is the thing saving Faith from being handed over to them without a second thought.
He can hear voices as they near the bottom of the stairs. Buffy? Wesley frowns. So the fates weren't content with throwing just Faith at him, they had to throw his other failure as a Watcher in as well?
Faith's reached the bottom of the stairs now and Wesley can hear Angel's voice.
"Faith, I told you..."
Pushing her further into the room Wesley steps out from behind her. "Slight change of plan," he says as he turns to Faith. "Get your coat."
"Wesley, what's going on?"
What's going on? How to explain that he's just been offered his life back? How to explain that all he has to do is irrevocably betray Angel's trust? How to explain that he's just been made to chose between his past and his present, between his life and his heart? "In about twenty minutes the Council's Operations Team is coming in here. They'll expect to find you gone," he takes the syringe out of his pocket and holds it up, "and her drugged."
"How many?"
"Three." He turns to the blonde looking at him expectantly. "Hello, Buffy. I'm afraid you've come at a bad time."
She nods. "I'm feeling that."
"Why did you bring them here?"
Because up until 30 seconds ago he wasn't sure what he would choose. It's not exactly the thing to say in this circumstance. "Couldn't shake them. Had to pretend I was helping them."
"Why aren't you?" Because even Angel knows this is what he wants. To be accepted back into the Watchers. He spent his entire life training to be a Watcher, and when they cast him out Wesley was lost. Now, they're offering to take him back. So why isn't he helping them? Because given a choice between the Watchers and Angel there was no contest. How to put it into words that won't reveal what he feels? And then Buffy saves him from having to answer at all.
"I know these guys. They're killers."
"They've surrounded the building." And he has to stop himself from throwing Buffy a grateful look.
"I'll check the sewers, if they're clear we all head out." Both Wesley and Buffy nod at Angel's words. "Faith?"
But Faith is gone, run while no one was looking.
"She must have slipped out." Wesley doesn't blame her. All he wants to do is run as well.
"She'd head for the roof."
Wesley tries to stop the bitterness from rising in him at Angel's words, at Angel's assumption that he'd know where Faith would go. After all, Wesley was only her Watcher, it's not as though he would know what she would do.
Buffy turns to go and Angel moves to follow her. "They may have it covered."
Of course they'll have it covered. They're the Special Ops Team, they'll have *everything* covered. But Wesley doesn't say it. All he does is stop Angel from following, laying a hand on the vampire's arm. "We need a plan. Buffy can protect Faith."
Angel turns towards the sewer entrance: "I'm not sure that's her agenda."
Then she can beat the shit out of her and drag back her broken body, either way works for Wesley at this point. "The sewers are still our best route."
"If they don't know about our access." Angel doesn't turn behind him to see if Wesley's following.
If they don't know about the sewer access, if they don't realise that Wesley would betray the Watchers before he betrayed Angel, if, if, if.
Angel opens the sewer hatch and looks down into the darkness, and suddenly Wesley is struck by the urge to say something. He knows what the Special Ops Team is like, they won't take it kindly that he lied to them, betrayed them, and he wants Angel to know in case anything happens. Working up enough moisture into his dry mouth, Wesley looks at Angel, seeing dark eyes staring back. "Angel, it wasn't for her."
"I know."
Do you, Angel? Do you *really* know? Do you know that I dream of cool fingers and skin against mine? "It's because I trust you."
Angel looks at him, and Wesley can feel the words turn to ash in his mouth. He's given too much of himself away and he needs to say anything to take back the words. "Well, more than three gun-toting maniacs at any rate." Better to let Angel think what he wants as long as it's not the truth. Better that the words had never left Wesley's lips in the first place. Because the truth only counts if it's said aloud. He learned that lesson at an early age, burned into him by condescending voices and hands that shouldn't touch.
Angel looks at him, finally nodding before dropping down into the sewers. Wesley peers after him, trying desperately to stem the pounding in his chest and the voice telling him to run as far as he can as fast as he can. Ignoring the voice and closing his eyes briefly, Wesley barely stops himself from following Angel into the darkness.
//It's because I trust you.//
The words play themselves over in his mind. It's been so long since those words meant anything to him and they felt strange on his tongue. But Wesley guesses the truth will do that sometimes.
His musing interrupted by a noise coming from the sewer entrance, he tenses momentarily as Angel appears.
And he can't tear his eyes away as the vampire emerges into the light.
//It's because I trust you.//
I trust you. I... love you. They're the words he wants to say, but doesn't dare. Not now, with the Council's team about to storm in. Not ever, with the shadow of Buffy looming so heavily. But he imagines himself saying them. And he imagines Angel holding him, caressing him, *wanting* him. But Angel isn't holding him, and Wesley is jolted back to reality by the sound of gunshots.
"That's coming from the roof."
And then it's coming from inside as one of the Special Ops Team bursts in, shooting at them as they dive for cover.
"I didn't give you the signal." But Wesley knows they weren't going to wait for a signal. Is it so obvious to everyone but Angel how he feels, that he would never turn his back, never betray him?
"Shut it." And the black-clad figure's lifting a crossbow, pointing it at Angel. "Vampire."
"Weatherby, listen to reason." Just don't fire. Oh god, please don't fire.
"Reason? A Watcher working for a vampire? It's perversion."
He can hardly contain the laugh that nearly escapes. If Weatherby thinks working for a vampire is perversion, then what would he think about everything else Wesley wants to do to Angel? "Weatherby..."
"Do the sacred oaths you swore as a Watcher mean nothing to you now?"
Do they? And Wesley knows the answer. Knows what he is even without working for the Council. Knows that the Council no longer define him. That he defines himself. "As a matter of fact they do. I swore to protect the innocent." He's only just realised that Faith falls into that category as well. For all her brashness and bravado Faith is still just a child, an innocent child. He turns to Angel quickly. "Get to the roof. Help them."
"What?"
"Now!" Because, like it or not, the Council is his problem and he needs to deal with them. Because he's been running from them since that night in Sunnydale and it's time to face up to the past.
As Angel runs for the stairs Wesley heads for cover behind a pillar.
"Bastard!"
Well, it's nice to know what Weatherby really thinks of him. Pulling the syringe out of his pocket, Wesley uncaps it, throwing it at Weatherby and smiling when it slides into the side of his neck, causing the other man to drop his gun. "180." The muttered comment just slips out. Walking up to the swaying Weatherby, Wesley punches him, the smile turning into a grin as the other Watcher drops to the floor. "That's for calling me a ponce." And for the first time since Faith reappeared in his life, Wesley knows he's made the right choices, knows he's finally found his peace with what happened in Sunnydale. He just hopes if they survive this, that Faith can find it, too.
End MIT: Passing Through Gethsemane
Other Moments In Time can be found here
