SG:1 Fic - Five Days Through The Night 2/2
Feb. 7th, 2005 10:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moonlettucePart one be here.
Teal'c is almost glad when he closes the door to his quarters, locking out the rest of the base. He cannot count the amount of people who stopped to ask him how Daniel Jackson was doing, had not realised until that moment how quickly news spreads around Cheyenne Mountain, especially if it concerns those people who are cared about. He wishes he had news to give those who asked him. The truth is he does not know how his team-mate is doing, he only knows that Dr Fraiser and her team are doing the best that they can.
Dr Boyd had examined him after he had checked Major Carter, confirming what Teal'c already knew, that his injuries are superficial and can easily be dealt with by his symbiote, leaving the doctors for the more seriously injured.
Swiftly undressing to the waist, he switches off the light and sets about lighting the candles he has scattered about the room. After only a few moments the scent from the candles begins to fill the room. Sitting cross-legged, he closes his eyes and relaxes his breathing, allowing the light smoke to fill his body.
With his eyes closed Teal'c can almost imagine he's back on Chulak. The soft smell from the candles illuminating the room mimic almost perfectly the specially made candles that Jaffa use to invoke a state of Kel'no'reem. The only problem is, he needs a clear mind to enter Kel'no'reem, and his mind is anything but clear. He should have waited with O'Neill to hear news of their team-mate, but the other man insisted he go and see to the lacerations and bruises that still mottle his body. But how can he heal himself, when his mind is full of turmoil about his friend?
It is a bizarre feeling, this deep concern for the well-being of someone he fights beside. Before he had been adopted by the people of Earth, the only people he would have given his life willingly for were Drey'auc, Ry'ac and Bra'tac. He refuses to count Apophis among that number, knows now that the only reason he would have died for Apophis was indoctrination, not love. As First Prime, concern for those fighting alongside him was not a priority. His primary objective was to ensure Apophis' safety, if that mean sacrificing a battalion of Jaffa, then so be it. He knows that such conditions are hardly optimal for fostering friendships. The difficult thing to accept is that, before he was First Prime, he had had Jaffa he classed as friends. His elevation to First Prime had soon blanked those out. But now? The other three members of SG-1 soon crossed that barrier of team-mate to friend, and then went on to cross the one of friend to family. He knows he would give his life for any of them as easily as he would his wife or son, or fight for them as fiercely. Which is why it is so hard being unable to do anything. O'Neill had once said the hardest part was waiting, and Teal'c recognises that belief fully. Out of the others of SG-1, Jack O'Neill is the one Teal'c understands the most. O'Neill is a fellow warrior, a kindred spirit who feels the need of being able to do something, instead of merely waiting...
~#~
Teal'c was surprised to see the light coming from O'Neill's office. SG-1 were on stand-down while Daniel Jackson was off-world with SG-4. Major Carter had said she was going to use the time to crash in one of the empty base quarters and catch up on the sleep she'd missed over the past two months. He'd had the impression O'Neill was going to do the same.
Knocking on the door, he waited until the voice called for him to enter before he opened the door. "O'Neill, should you not be asleep?"
Jack O'Neill looked up from the paperwork on his desk. "Teal'c, I thought you were in your quarters Kel'no'reeming or something."
"I find my mind is too active to allow me to truly enter a state of Kel'no'reem. But you did not answer my question, should you not be asleep?"
Jack snorted softly. "Probably."
And then Teal'c knew. He wasn't sure how he'd made the leap, but it was the only reason he could think of as to why O'Neill was sitting in his office at 1:00 am in the morning on a rare day off instead of being at home or being asleep, the only difference between this downtime and any other. "You are worried about Daniel Jackson."
O'Neill's eyes dropped for a moment before he looked back up and Teal'c knew he had reasoned correctly.
"He is resourceful, O'Neill, he will be successful in his mission."
"If SG-4 hadn't been stupid enough to get themselves taken hostage, he wouldn't be there." Jack sighed. "I still don't know why the General didn't let us go with Daniel."
But even as O'Neill spoke the words Teal'c knew the other man could hear the lie in his own voice. O'Neill knew exactly why the General hadn't let them go with him.
Teal'c cast his mind back to the briefing they were giving General Hammond after their return from P5X-186. They had just finished when the klaxon signalling off-world activation of the Stargate rang through the room. As none of the SG teams were due back, they went to the control room to discover what was happening, only to see Major Richards carrying an injured Lieutenant Bartlett through the Gate. While Bartlett was being taken to the Infirmary, Richards told the General that something had gone wrong with their mission to P2A-278. They weren't sure exactly what they'd done, but they had managed to break a cultural taboo. The village Elders were furious and demanding retribution for the gods in the shape of a sacrifice of one of the team.
"You know, they were only meant to find out if the village's supply of Naquadah could handle a bigger output," sighed O'Neill. "Christ knows how they managed to stuff that one up."
"That is what Daniel Jackson is there to find out."
Bartlett was SG-4's linguist, but she had been injured by falling down a deep hole. Major Richards informed them she had attempted to slow her descent by holding onto a statue placed on the edge. Unfortunately, the statue went over with her and broke, thereby affronting the gods. The Elders had demanded that one of SG-4 give their life as a sacrifice to appease the gods. Richards, with the help of a barely conscious Bartlett, had just managed to persuade the Elders to allow him to take her back through the Stargate, but they demanded that someone else return in stead of her. Not only that, but they had demanded that Daniel Jackson return with him since SG-1 were the team that had carried out the original first contact mission to P2A-278 and Jackson was known to the Elders. He had agreed to go, even over O'Neill's reservations about Daniel's state after the last mission.
//'You took a concoction that kept you awake for 48 hours, Daniel!'
'Because it was the only was to get the Leaders to allow me entrance to their Main Hall, the only way they would speak to us.'
'I know that, but what it means is that you're hardly going to be 100 percent going into this.'
'It's not as if we have a choice, Jack. Not if I'm the only one the Elders will speak to.'
'And what the hell were your people thinking, Major. Don't they look where they're going?'
'The hole was covered, Colonel. It wasn't as if they had a massive sign saying 'Watch out. Hole here'.'
'Colonel! Major! Enough! Dr Jackson, are you sure you're up to this?'
'I can do this, General.'
'Sir, if we don't get back by nightfall, they're going to sacrifice both Barnes and Mascetti to their gods.'
'I understand that, Major Richards. Dr Jackson, you have a go. And good luck, son.'//
"I know, Teal'c, but he's over there with a bunch of people who are all gung-ho about sacrificing someone."
"You doubt Daniel Jackson's ability to get himself and SG-4 off the planet without bloodshed?" Which confused Teal'c, because O'Neill had never shown anything but the utmost faith in SG-1's archaeologist.
"No! It's just that... I don't like the thought of him there and me here."
Now, that Teal'c understood. "You dislike waiting, being unable to do anything."
"Exactly." O'Neill almost sounded relieved that someone else understood. "At least if we're off-world together I can keep an eye on him."
"He is not a child, O'Neill. You do not need to watch over him."
"I know that," the Colonel waved his hand, dismissing what Teal'c had said. "He's not a child, he's just too damn curious for his own good. And one of these days it's going to get him into serious trouble." O'Neill paused. "Well, more serious than he's already got into." He looked up, his gaze fixing with Teal'c's. "One of these days he's going to get into trouble he's not able to talk his way out of."
"And if that happens, O'Neill, we will be there to 'get him out of it'. The same way he has often done for us." Teal'c wasn't sure why he needed to tell O'Neill this. The Colonel knew as well as he did that it was how SG-1 worked. If one person could not come up with the solution to a problem, then one of the others could. Each of them worked in different ways, allowing them to have four differing views on how to solve whatever problem they faced.
"I know, but it's times like this that I sometimes wonder whether it's worth it."
Teal'c frowned, unable to accept what O'Neill was saying. In the years he had known the other man, he had never once known him to give something up without fighting. And even if O'Neill had decided that he has had enough, he wasn't the only one in the relationship. "I warned you once, O'Neill, if you were not serious about pursuing this, then I would have to disembowel you for dishonouring the feelings of a friend."
Jack's eyes widened at his words. "What?! No! I didn't mean giving up Daniel. There's no frickin' thing in the universe that would make me do that. I mean is this worth it." He waved his hand, motioning to the office around him. "I can't help but think it would be easier if I didn't just take Danny off somewhere, live out our lives with peace, quiet and fishing. We've done our bit for humanity, saved the world more times than Maybourne's switched sides, and that's saying something."
"You would seriously consider leaving the Stargate Project?" He was more than a little sceptical at O'Neill's words. Knew that even if the Colonel seriously wanted to leave, Daniel Jackson would be another matter entirely.
"Yes," replied O'Neill. Then, "No." And then a few seconds later, "Ah, hell, I don't know." He was quiet for a minute before he continued. "SG-1 and the Stargate are important parts of my life, important parts of me. It's just that, over these past few months, I discovered something a hell of lot more important to me than even them. And I wanna protect him, Teal'c. He may not need me to, but I need to. And how can I do that when he's out there and I'm stuck here?" He lapsed into silence.
Teal'c allowed long moments to pass before he spoke. "Come, O'Neill."
Jack frowned. "Where?"
"Sitting there will only allow you to brood on what you cannot change. At least if you are active, your mind can be occupied with other things."
Pushing himself to his feet and moving away from his next, O'Neill nodded. "Yeah, you're right. What do you have in mind?"
"You can teach me more about this 'boxing'."
"You know, the last time I tried to show you how to box I ended up with a concussion," the Colonel pointed out.
"I will be gentle, O'Neill," promised Teal'c.
"Glad to hear it," replied O'Neill as he followed Teal'c out of the office and down towards the gym...
~#~
He knows that O'Neill will be in the Infirmary for as long as it takes, will be by Daniel Jackson's side for as long as he needs to be. Knows that there is nowhere else O'Neill would be. He also knows that now, more than ever, O'Neill will need his friends. That he will not think to mask himself at this time. Knows that with his mate severely injured the other man will not care whether the rest of the facility can see his true feelings. Teal'c knows that, with the help of Major Carter and Dr Fraiser, he will have to make sure that O'Neill and Daniel Jackson have all the privacy they require.
He's never understood the aversion many of the Tau'ri seem to have with people of the same sex loving each other. He's seen the planet, seen the problems his adopted world has. Even without the threat of the Goa'uld, Earth has problems. The air and waters are rife with pollution, indigenous species are being wiped out every day, the threat of war among her peoples still looms heavily. With all of those considerations, does it truly matter who people chose to share themselves with, who they love?
There are no such prejudices among the Jaffa. Indeed, when away from home, the Jaffa think nothing of turning to each other in times of need. There were many times when he was First Prime that he availed himself of the warm body of another Jaffa. It was a service he himself had provided to Bra'tac when he was but the student. There is no shame in wanting the comfort of another. Many of the Jaffa relieve tensions with sexual liaisons among themselves. Some of these even grow into more. There are Jaffa who chose to bond with each other instead of with a wife. There had been several pair-bonded Jaffa under his command when he was with Apophis. There had been no question as to their competence on the battlefield. What the Goa'uld were concerned with was how well their Jaffa fought, not whom they chose to mate with.
He learned long ago that love is love. It does not matter who is loving and who is being loved. Apparently, the some of the people of the Tau'ri still need to come to that conclusion. He knows his friends chose a difficult road when they decided to acknowledge their feelings for one another instead of just ignoring them, burying them and denying them. He also knows that no matter how difficult the path will be, neither of them would choose to be anywhere else. He can only hope that after tonight O'Neill will not have to walk that path alone...
~~<<->>~~
General George Hammond is the first one to admit that his heart skipped several beats as Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c came through the Stargate, dragging a visibly injured Daniel Jackson between them and Major Carter hit the ramp on a roll, still firing into the event horizon and yelling at them to close the iris. That it continued to skip beats as he watched the flurry of activity that was taking place at the base of the 'Gate ramp with Dr Fraiser and two orderlies loading Dr Jackson onto a gurney and then running out with O'Neill at their side. And he knew at that moment that he'd have to get the report about what exactly had happened on a supposed 'simple' mission from Major Carter and Teal'c, because there would be no way he'd be able to drag Jack O'Neill away from the Infirmary for long enough to get any sense out of him.
So he'd spoken to the other half of SG-1 and heard a report of the team running into a phalanx of Jaffa guards, of the planet they were visiting being host to a previously unknown Jaffa training facility for the Goa'uld Yu. Heard how they just managed to evade capture, but not without price, not without Daniel Jackson being severely injured by a staff weapon blast.
And he's still waiting to hear how SG-1's archaeologist is. Had planned on waiting outside along with the rest of SG-1, only to be told by Dr Fraiser that she had no idea how long they were going to be in surgery and she would inform them when they were out. So he'd gone back to his office, watching as Teal'c turned in the direction of his on-base quarters and Sam Carter went searching for coffee. And he hadn't bothered to ask O'Neill where he would be, knew that, even with Dr Fraiser's suggestion, the Colonel would wait outside the Infirmary for as long as it took. Knew that the other man would have been in there with her if Fraiser hadn't threatened him with actual bodily harm to stay out of her way while she was working to save Daniel. He has no doubt that she will do what she can; after all, Janet Fraiser is the best doctor he's ever seen, but he doesn't know if even the remarkable skill of her and her team will be enough for the young man he saw covered in blood and pale as ice hanging between his team-mates.
And suddenly he's inexplicably reminded of the wake they'd held for Daniel when they thought he'd died on Oannes. He remembers Jack taking out his frustrations on his car window, and when he'd asked him what was on his mind the reply had been 'Retirement'. And he knows that if they lose Daniel tonight then they'll lose Jack, as well. Knows that Jack O'Neill will turn his back on the Stargate Project without hesitation.
He doesn't know exactly when it started, but he knows it did. Knows that both of them have the air of familiarity about them that he used to have with his wife before she passed away - the casual touches, the unthought about glances. He knows it had been building, knows that from the moment Jack O'Neill returned from the second mission to Abydos and brought Daniel Jackson with him that tension had been simmering between the two men. He's been watching them for years now, watching and waiting. He still remembers when he realised it himself, long before he believes either of the two men involved knew themselves.
It had been the funeral they'd held for Daniel after Oannes, and he'd turned to Colonel O'Neill to hand over to him for the eulogy, only he remembers not wanting to hand over to O'Neill. Remembers watching the other man since he'd set foot in the Gateroom. At first he'd thought he was seeing the grief of someone who had lost a friend instead of just a colleague. But then it had hit him. The look on Jack O'Neill's face was exactly the same look his sister had had on her face when she gave the eulogy for her first husband. And although that knowledge should have shocked him to the core, it didn't. He's always known there was something between O'Neill and Jackson, something more than colleagues, something more than friends. He'd just thought it was a closeness borne out of being two of the only ones left from the original mission to Abydos. He knows that Jack, Daniel and Major Ferretti had all taken Major Kawalsky's death hard. But this was different, so much more different.
Part of him wishes he didn't know, wishes he had the cloak of deniability to hide behind, but he also knows that, if it ever came out, he would back the two men to the hilt. He knows he should be part of the 'don't ask, don't tell'. That, as the SGC's commanding officer especially, he should have thrown Daniel out and had Jack up on a court-martial the minute he realised what was happening, the minute he realised they taken that final step, the minute it had gone past longing thoughts and fleeting considerations. And maybe he would have when he'd first started working there, before he'd realised that the people who work in Cheyenne Mountain are so much more than colleagues and team-mates, more than friends, even. They're family. He sees it in every man, woman and Jaffa who works under him. He saw it in Major Michaels when she sat up in the Infirmary for 7 hours talking to a still unconscious member of her team because Dr Fraiser had said it might help if he could hear a familiar voice. He saw it when Major Cotterell stood in front of him and requested leave for all of SG-7 in order to attend the funeral of Lieutenant Anderson's sister because they were "the only family he had left now" and they didn't want him to face it alone.
And he has to admit, Daniel seems to have been a stabilising influence on O'Neill. He'd heard some of the airmen comment that the Colonel had been less irascible over the past few months. Hammond chuckles to himself, that wasn't exactly how the airmen had put it, but it sounds better than the 'he's been less of a grouchy bastard recently' that he'd originally overheard. And, miracle on miracles, he'd even started taking an interest in the pre-mission briefings...
~#~
Hammond looked around the briefing table at the two people already sitting. "Do you have any idea what's keeping Colonel O'Neill and Dr Jackson?"
Sam Carter shook her head. "I can go and check Daniel's office, sir?"
Hammond was just about to tell her to go when he heard voices outside the briefing room and the two men in question walked in. "I'm glad you could make it. I hope we're not keeping you from anything important."
Running his fingers through slightly tousled hair, Daniel Jackson nodded to the General. "Ah, no, sorry we're late, sir, I couldn't find all my notes," he said, placing some folders on the table and taking a seat.
"I take it you have them all now?" Hammond asked.
O'Neill answered for him. "Yes, he does. It was hard going, but we managed to get everything together in the end."
Ignoring the grin on the Colonel's face and the flush steadily creeping up Jackson's, the General nodded. "Can we begin this, people." It wasn't a question.
"Of course," replied Daniel, standing up and handing out a folder to each of the people around the table and clicking the remote to bring the first image up on the large screen. "This is one of the images the MALP sent back from P4X-926. I have reason to believe the planet was once the stronghold of a Goa'uld named Angra Mainyu."
"What makes you think that, son?" Hammond questioned.
Daniel pointed to the image of the inscription above the entrance to what looked like a temple. "The words... they actually translate as 'Temple of Angra Mainyu,'" he shrugged.
"I have not heard of this Goa'uld," Teal'c informed them.
"I'm not surprised," Daniel said. "From the looks of the planet it hasn't been inhabited in centuries. The temples are overgrown and there's no sign of life. If he was a System Lord, then it looks like he was either taken out or went to ground a long time ago."
"So, what's this Angry Manguy about?"
"Angra Mainyu," Daniel automatically corrected the Colonel. "He was one of the main gods in Persian mythology. You may know him as Ahriman."
Hammond noticed that O'Neill's face remained blank.
"Angra Mainyu was the destructive spirit of the Zoroastrian religion. His... good, for want of a better word, counterpart was Ahura Mazda, or Ohrmazd-"
"This is the guy with the rhubarb!" interrupted O'Neill, suddenly looking inordinately pleased with himself.
"Rhubarb?" Hammond looked from O'Neill to Jackson.
"Er, how to explain this?" Daniel muttered to himself, before turning his attention back on the General. "Ahura Mazda created the universe and within it placed the primeval bull and the perfect man. Angra Mainyu wanted to destroy this, so he mortally injured both of them. But, from the seed of the man sprang an androgynous rhubarb, the leaves of which created the first human couple."
Carter chuckled. "So, according to these guys, we're descended from a rhubarb?"
"Yeah, that's about it." Daniel matched her smile.
"You know, the frightening thing is, I can actually look at, say, SG-2 and see where this guy is coming from."
Daniel smirked at O'Neill words. "I'll tell Ferretti you said that," he warned.
"So, do you have any idea as to what's happened to this Goa'uld?" Hammond tried to get the briefing back on track.
"Well, the prophet Zoroaster prophesied a last showdown between Angra Mainyu and Ahura Mazda. It's entirely possible that this actually happened and what we think of as Persian mythology is actually a chronicle of a battle between two of the Goa'uld," Daniel postulated.
"Either way, it looks like someone took out this guy, so I don't envision any trouble waiting for us on the planet."
"Dr Jackson, do you agree with the Colonel?"
Daniel nodded. "The MALP readings suggest that the planet's deserted and has been for some time. We shouldn't have any trouble."
"Very well, SG-1, your mission is a go. Be ready to leave for P4X-926 at 1300 hours." Hammond gathered up his papers and headed out of the room.
He'd only just reached his office when he realised he'd forgot to get the second folder of MALP information off Dr Jackson. Putting the things he had remembered on his desk, he headed back to the briefing room, surprised to hear Jack O'Neill's voice still coming from within.
"...can I say? The rhubarb bit stuck with me."
"I wonder why." And it seemed like Dr Jackson was in there with him.
"Well, they're long, hard and pink, kinda. So shoot me if I look at you and think long, hard and-"
"Colonel, Doctor."
O'Neill jumped off from sitting on the briefing table. "Did you need something, sir?"
And wasn't it interesting that Jack O'Neill's voice had that guilty innocence lilt to it Hammond had often heard from him.
"Relax, Colonel, I just came to pick up that second folder of MALP information from Dr Jackson."
"Oh, of course." Daniel picked a folder up from the bottom of the pile sitting next to where O'Neill had been and handed it to him.
Taking the folder from the younger man, Hammond nodded his thanks. "I'll leave you two to your discussion, then. Rhubarb, I believe it was." Heading back out of the briefing room, Hammond waited until he was outside to smile at the spluttered cough that had come from Daniel at his words...
~#~
The knock on the door jolts him from his memories and he looks up to see Dr Fraiser enter his office. "Sit down, Doctor." He motions to the chair in front of his desk. He waits until she is sitting before he asks the question uppermost in his mind. "How is he?"
"Serious, but stable," comes the answer.
"Is he going to..." Damn, he never realised how hard it would be to ask this question. He'd had to ask it about others, so why is it so hard with this man? "Is he going to make it?"
She looks down at her joined hands before answering. "I honestly don't know, sir. He lost a lot of blood and the wound was severe. I believe that if he makes it through the night then he'll make it. We've done as much as we can. At this point it all depends on Daniel."
"Thank you, Doctor. I won't keep you from your duties any further."
And she recognises the dismissal for what it is. The clicking of the shutting door signifying his being alone, he looks down at the reports on his desk, thinking about the spoken reports he's had from Major Carter and Teal'c. There was nothing anyone could have done to prevent what had happened. No one knew about Yu's training facility on the planet. He'd even contacted the Tok'ra to ask them if they'd known of its existence. Jacob had told him that they'd had no idea there was one there, but now that they did they may be able to sabotage it. Had it been any other Tok'ra denying knowledge he might have doubted them, but not Jacob. He'd known Jacob Carter too long, knew the other man was telling him the truth.
So, if nothing could have prevented the events leading up to Daniel's injury, why does he feel so responsible? The weight of command is never so heavy than when one of his people has been injured. And somehow, it always seems worse when it's one of the civilians under his command. He can tell himself that the airmen under him have been through the most rigorous training the Air Force provides. He has people at the SGC that have been part of Special Ops teams, of Black Ops teams even. People that have survived under the worst circumstances. Officers that have proven themselves to be the best of the best and more than capable to handle anything thrown at them. And then there are the archaeologists, the anthropologists, the linguists. Rationally, he knows that SGC can't survive without these people. That they are the ones who interpret the data, who have made most first contact situations viable. So why does he feel like he's throwing kids who have no idea how to swim into the deep end of the pool?
Never mind that it had been Daniel Jackson who insisted he was to be a member of SG-1. That the man had stood before him in native Abydonian robes and told him in no uncertain terms that he was going through that 'Gate with Jack O'Neill. Never mind that Daniel Jackson was one of the first people to ever step foot through the Stargate. That without him there most likely wouldn't be a Stargate Project. He knows that the President had given the original research team only another 14 days when Daniel had been brought on board. That if they hadn't unlocked the secret of how the 'Gate worked then it was due to be packed up and shipped off to Area 51, yet another piece of unexplainable technology lost among the myriad of inexplicable items already there. He knows that Daniel has more than earned his place on the premier team of the Stargate Programme, knows that he fought his way past the initial doubts that many of the Air Force personnel had to the civilian contingent of the Project to become a valued and well-respected member of the SGC. And even though he knows that Dr Daniel Jackson has come through for them time after time after time, he still can't help but hear Dr Fraiser's words run through his mind.
//At this point it all depends on Daniel.//
He can only hope the young man he's grown so fond of doesn't fail them now...
~~<<->>~~
Jack O'Neill can't remember the last time he spoke this much. He's not even sure what he's saying anymore. He's dried up on the childhood anecdotes that Daniel hasn't already heard and he's more than certain that the other man doesn't want to hear a blow by blow account of why JarJar Binks will be the downfall of the Star Wars franchise.
And through it all, through all the whispered words and unspoken pleas, there's only one thought running through his head: that he can't go through this again, can't lose someone else he loves. He's buried too many people that he cares about. Daniel can't leave him like this. What did they ever do to deserve this? They've saved the world he can't remember how many times, surely that puts them one up on the cosmic scale of things, surely the universe owes them a break.
Are you listening, God? And now he knows he's desperate, he's praying to a god he hasn't believed in since he found his son on the floor of the bedroom with his gun lying next to him. He'd been so ready to give it all up when that happened. He'd thought he was through with it all when Charlie died, and then he got dragged back into it, recalled to active duty by General West. And then a blue eyed whirlwind came into his life. A geek in glasses who read books in languages Jack didn't even know existed. Even though Jack had tried to keep the hard exterior, tried not to let anyone else in, it was impossible. When Daniel Jackson had you in his sights, there was no mercy. And somewhere along the line the guy he'd dismissed as nothing more than a bookworm, the guy he'd wanted to shoot when he'd thought they were stuck on Abydos, got under his skin and became his closest friend. He's still not sure when that friendship became something more, just knows that the feelings he had for Daniel stopped being purely platonic. And god help him, Daniel returned his feelings. And now he can't even imagine losing this man.
Lifting Daniel's hand to his cheek, Jack holds it there, feeling the too warm skin.
"I swear to you, Daniel Jackson, if you die on me I will follow your ass to whichever afterlife you go to and kick it back here."
"better... not die... then."
The words were so soft that Jack couldn't help thinking he'd imagined them.
"jack..."
But he didn't imagine that. Standing up so quickly the stool shoots back several inches, Jack looks at Daniel's still too pale face, almost crying out in relief when he sees heavy-lidded blue eyes looking back at him. "Daniel." Jesus, is his voice meant to sound that thick? "Oh God, Daniel." Oh God, thank you. And then as an afterthought, "JANET!"
"What?!" He almost laughs at the panicked look Fraiser throws him as she runs into the room and skids to a stop.
But he can't say anything apart from, "Daniel."
As soon as Fraiser realises Daniel's eyes are open she switches into professional mode, checking his vitals and the readouts of the machines attached to him. And after all of that, she presses a hand to his forehead and asks, "How do you feel?"
"like i got... run over by a horde... of elephants..." And then his eyes close again and Jack's grip on his hand tightens.
"Doc?" Even Jack can hear the panic in that one word, so he's not surprised Fraiser picks up on it.
Only Fraiser is smiling. Why is she smiling? Please let it mean what he thinks. "Relax, Colonel."
"Then he's going to be...?" But for some reason, the words still stick in his throat.
And her smile is widening. "He'll be in and out of it for the next few hours, but he's going to be just fine."
"Oh thank God." Jack drops his head. And he's meant to be a tough Air Force Colonel, so why are his eyes burning, why are his cheeks wet?
"Colonel?" Her hand is warm on his shoulder.
"'m fine," Although even a deaf man could hear the lie in the reply he mumbles out.
"liar..." And his gaze fixes with the blue eyes that are looking at him again. "sound like... I feel..."
Janet's fingers squeeze his shoulder before they move. "Do you want me to give you some time before I report to the General?"
And he's grateful for the suggestion, but dismisses it, shaking his head. Daniel has a lot of friends, it's unfair to leave them hanging over his condition. "No..." he coughs slightly, his voice strengthening as he raises his head to look at Janet. "No, I'll be fine. Go and spread the good news."
She nods, glancing back at Daniel and smiling before leaving.
And then he's alone with Daniel again. Only this time it's different. This time it doesn't feel like there's a cold steel band around his heart, this time he knows there'll be a tomorrow worth seeing. And he knows that they'll soon be inundated with people. That, even though Janet may manage to keep out the majority, at least Carter, Teal'c and Hammond will come and see how Daniel's doing.
"jack?"
"Just thinking, Danny-boy." About how close he came to losing the most important thing in his life, about walking as far away from there as he could if that ever happened.
"shouldn't... dangerous..." And the weak laugh turns into a cough as there's a pause with laboured breathing before, "you okay?"
And shouldn't he be the one asking that question?
"jack?"
"Yeah?" He looks up, realising he never answered Daniel's question.
"love you."
Then there's no need for an answer. No need for any words except, "I love you, too." As the smile spreads across Daniel's face, Jack hears the voices getting closer, recognising Carter's gleeful chatter. "We're about to be invaded. Will you be okay?"
"will be... as long as you're here."
"I'll be here for as long as you want me." As long as you need me.
"how 'bout... forever?"
And there's no hesitation as Jack answers. "You got it." Because there's nowhere else he'd rather be than by this man's side.
"you and me... 'gainst the world, jack."
And as the door to the Infirmary opens and bodies spill into the room, Jack tightens his hold on his lover's hand as he turns to greet the new arrivals. Him and Daniel against the world. Jack grins. Works for him.
End.
Teal'c is almost glad when he closes the door to his quarters, locking out the rest of the base. He cannot count the amount of people who stopped to ask him how Daniel Jackson was doing, had not realised until that moment how quickly news spreads around Cheyenne Mountain, especially if it concerns those people who are cared about. He wishes he had news to give those who asked him. The truth is he does not know how his team-mate is doing, he only knows that Dr Fraiser and her team are doing the best that they can.
Dr Boyd had examined him after he had checked Major Carter, confirming what Teal'c already knew, that his injuries are superficial and can easily be dealt with by his symbiote, leaving the doctors for the more seriously injured.
Swiftly undressing to the waist, he switches off the light and sets about lighting the candles he has scattered about the room. After only a few moments the scent from the candles begins to fill the room. Sitting cross-legged, he closes his eyes and relaxes his breathing, allowing the light smoke to fill his body.
With his eyes closed Teal'c can almost imagine he's back on Chulak. The soft smell from the candles illuminating the room mimic almost perfectly the specially made candles that Jaffa use to invoke a state of Kel'no'reem. The only problem is, he needs a clear mind to enter Kel'no'reem, and his mind is anything but clear. He should have waited with O'Neill to hear news of their team-mate, but the other man insisted he go and see to the lacerations and bruises that still mottle his body. But how can he heal himself, when his mind is full of turmoil about his friend?
It is a bizarre feeling, this deep concern for the well-being of someone he fights beside. Before he had been adopted by the people of Earth, the only people he would have given his life willingly for were Drey'auc, Ry'ac and Bra'tac. He refuses to count Apophis among that number, knows now that the only reason he would have died for Apophis was indoctrination, not love. As First Prime, concern for those fighting alongside him was not a priority. His primary objective was to ensure Apophis' safety, if that mean sacrificing a battalion of Jaffa, then so be it. He knows that such conditions are hardly optimal for fostering friendships. The difficult thing to accept is that, before he was First Prime, he had had Jaffa he classed as friends. His elevation to First Prime had soon blanked those out. But now? The other three members of SG-1 soon crossed that barrier of team-mate to friend, and then went on to cross the one of friend to family. He knows he would give his life for any of them as easily as he would his wife or son, or fight for them as fiercely. Which is why it is so hard being unable to do anything. O'Neill had once said the hardest part was waiting, and Teal'c recognises that belief fully. Out of the others of SG-1, Jack O'Neill is the one Teal'c understands the most. O'Neill is a fellow warrior, a kindred spirit who feels the need of being able to do something, instead of merely waiting...
~#~
Teal'c was surprised to see the light coming from O'Neill's office. SG-1 were on stand-down while Daniel Jackson was off-world with SG-4. Major Carter had said she was going to use the time to crash in one of the empty base quarters and catch up on the sleep she'd missed over the past two months. He'd had the impression O'Neill was going to do the same.
Knocking on the door, he waited until the voice called for him to enter before he opened the door. "O'Neill, should you not be asleep?"
Jack O'Neill looked up from the paperwork on his desk. "Teal'c, I thought you were in your quarters Kel'no'reeming or something."
"I find my mind is too active to allow me to truly enter a state of Kel'no'reem. But you did not answer my question, should you not be asleep?"
Jack snorted softly. "Probably."
And then Teal'c knew. He wasn't sure how he'd made the leap, but it was the only reason he could think of as to why O'Neill was sitting in his office at 1:00 am in the morning on a rare day off instead of being at home or being asleep, the only difference between this downtime and any other. "You are worried about Daniel Jackson."
O'Neill's eyes dropped for a moment before he looked back up and Teal'c knew he had reasoned correctly.
"He is resourceful, O'Neill, he will be successful in his mission."
"If SG-4 hadn't been stupid enough to get themselves taken hostage, he wouldn't be there." Jack sighed. "I still don't know why the General didn't let us go with Daniel."
But even as O'Neill spoke the words Teal'c knew the other man could hear the lie in his own voice. O'Neill knew exactly why the General hadn't let them go with him.
Teal'c cast his mind back to the briefing they were giving General Hammond after their return from P5X-186. They had just finished when the klaxon signalling off-world activation of the Stargate rang through the room. As none of the SG teams were due back, they went to the control room to discover what was happening, only to see Major Richards carrying an injured Lieutenant Bartlett through the Gate. While Bartlett was being taken to the Infirmary, Richards told the General that something had gone wrong with their mission to P2A-278. They weren't sure exactly what they'd done, but they had managed to break a cultural taboo. The village Elders were furious and demanding retribution for the gods in the shape of a sacrifice of one of the team.
"You know, they were only meant to find out if the village's supply of Naquadah could handle a bigger output," sighed O'Neill. "Christ knows how they managed to stuff that one up."
"That is what Daniel Jackson is there to find out."
Bartlett was SG-4's linguist, but she had been injured by falling down a deep hole. Major Richards informed them she had attempted to slow her descent by holding onto a statue placed on the edge. Unfortunately, the statue went over with her and broke, thereby affronting the gods. The Elders had demanded that one of SG-4 give their life as a sacrifice to appease the gods. Richards, with the help of a barely conscious Bartlett, had just managed to persuade the Elders to allow him to take her back through the Stargate, but they demanded that someone else return in stead of her. Not only that, but they had demanded that Daniel Jackson return with him since SG-1 were the team that had carried out the original first contact mission to P2A-278 and Jackson was known to the Elders. He had agreed to go, even over O'Neill's reservations about Daniel's state after the last mission.
//'You took a concoction that kept you awake for 48 hours, Daniel!'
'Because it was the only was to get the Leaders to allow me entrance to their Main Hall, the only way they would speak to us.'
'I know that, but what it means is that you're hardly going to be 100 percent going into this.'
'It's not as if we have a choice, Jack. Not if I'm the only one the Elders will speak to.'
'And what the hell were your people thinking, Major. Don't they look where they're going?'
'The hole was covered, Colonel. It wasn't as if they had a massive sign saying 'Watch out. Hole here'.'
'Colonel! Major! Enough! Dr Jackson, are you sure you're up to this?'
'I can do this, General.'
'Sir, if we don't get back by nightfall, they're going to sacrifice both Barnes and Mascetti to their gods.'
'I understand that, Major Richards. Dr Jackson, you have a go. And good luck, son.'//
"I know, Teal'c, but he's over there with a bunch of people who are all gung-ho about sacrificing someone."
"You doubt Daniel Jackson's ability to get himself and SG-4 off the planet without bloodshed?" Which confused Teal'c, because O'Neill had never shown anything but the utmost faith in SG-1's archaeologist.
"No! It's just that... I don't like the thought of him there and me here."
Now, that Teal'c understood. "You dislike waiting, being unable to do anything."
"Exactly." O'Neill almost sounded relieved that someone else understood. "At least if we're off-world together I can keep an eye on him."
"He is not a child, O'Neill. You do not need to watch over him."
"I know that," the Colonel waved his hand, dismissing what Teal'c had said. "He's not a child, he's just too damn curious for his own good. And one of these days it's going to get him into serious trouble." O'Neill paused. "Well, more serious than he's already got into." He looked up, his gaze fixing with Teal'c's. "One of these days he's going to get into trouble he's not able to talk his way out of."
"And if that happens, O'Neill, we will be there to 'get him out of it'. The same way he has often done for us." Teal'c wasn't sure why he needed to tell O'Neill this. The Colonel knew as well as he did that it was how SG-1 worked. If one person could not come up with the solution to a problem, then one of the others could. Each of them worked in different ways, allowing them to have four differing views on how to solve whatever problem they faced.
"I know, but it's times like this that I sometimes wonder whether it's worth it."
Teal'c frowned, unable to accept what O'Neill was saying. In the years he had known the other man, he had never once known him to give something up without fighting. And even if O'Neill had decided that he has had enough, he wasn't the only one in the relationship. "I warned you once, O'Neill, if you were not serious about pursuing this, then I would have to disembowel you for dishonouring the feelings of a friend."
Jack's eyes widened at his words. "What?! No! I didn't mean giving up Daniel. There's no frickin' thing in the universe that would make me do that. I mean is this worth it." He waved his hand, motioning to the office around him. "I can't help but think it would be easier if I didn't just take Danny off somewhere, live out our lives with peace, quiet and fishing. We've done our bit for humanity, saved the world more times than Maybourne's switched sides, and that's saying something."
"You would seriously consider leaving the Stargate Project?" He was more than a little sceptical at O'Neill's words. Knew that even if the Colonel seriously wanted to leave, Daniel Jackson would be another matter entirely.
"Yes," replied O'Neill. Then, "No." And then a few seconds later, "Ah, hell, I don't know." He was quiet for a minute before he continued. "SG-1 and the Stargate are important parts of my life, important parts of me. It's just that, over these past few months, I discovered something a hell of lot more important to me than even them. And I wanna protect him, Teal'c. He may not need me to, but I need to. And how can I do that when he's out there and I'm stuck here?" He lapsed into silence.
Teal'c allowed long moments to pass before he spoke. "Come, O'Neill."
Jack frowned. "Where?"
"Sitting there will only allow you to brood on what you cannot change. At least if you are active, your mind can be occupied with other things."
Pushing himself to his feet and moving away from his next, O'Neill nodded. "Yeah, you're right. What do you have in mind?"
"You can teach me more about this 'boxing'."
"You know, the last time I tried to show you how to box I ended up with a concussion," the Colonel pointed out.
"I will be gentle, O'Neill," promised Teal'c.
"Glad to hear it," replied O'Neill as he followed Teal'c out of the office and down towards the gym...
~#~
He knows that O'Neill will be in the Infirmary for as long as it takes, will be by Daniel Jackson's side for as long as he needs to be. Knows that there is nowhere else O'Neill would be. He also knows that now, more than ever, O'Neill will need his friends. That he will not think to mask himself at this time. Knows that with his mate severely injured the other man will not care whether the rest of the facility can see his true feelings. Teal'c knows that, with the help of Major Carter and Dr Fraiser, he will have to make sure that O'Neill and Daniel Jackson have all the privacy they require.
He's never understood the aversion many of the Tau'ri seem to have with people of the same sex loving each other. He's seen the planet, seen the problems his adopted world has. Even without the threat of the Goa'uld, Earth has problems. The air and waters are rife with pollution, indigenous species are being wiped out every day, the threat of war among her peoples still looms heavily. With all of those considerations, does it truly matter who people chose to share themselves with, who they love?
There are no such prejudices among the Jaffa. Indeed, when away from home, the Jaffa think nothing of turning to each other in times of need. There were many times when he was First Prime that he availed himself of the warm body of another Jaffa. It was a service he himself had provided to Bra'tac when he was but the student. There is no shame in wanting the comfort of another. Many of the Jaffa relieve tensions with sexual liaisons among themselves. Some of these even grow into more. There are Jaffa who chose to bond with each other instead of with a wife. There had been several pair-bonded Jaffa under his command when he was with Apophis. There had been no question as to their competence on the battlefield. What the Goa'uld were concerned with was how well their Jaffa fought, not whom they chose to mate with.
He learned long ago that love is love. It does not matter who is loving and who is being loved. Apparently, the some of the people of the Tau'ri still need to come to that conclusion. He knows his friends chose a difficult road when they decided to acknowledge their feelings for one another instead of just ignoring them, burying them and denying them. He also knows that no matter how difficult the path will be, neither of them would choose to be anywhere else. He can only hope that after tonight O'Neill will not have to walk that path alone...
~~<<->>~~
General George Hammond is the first one to admit that his heart skipped several beats as Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c came through the Stargate, dragging a visibly injured Daniel Jackson between them and Major Carter hit the ramp on a roll, still firing into the event horizon and yelling at them to close the iris. That it continued to skip beats as he watched the flurry of activity that was taking place at the base of the 'Gate ramp with Dr Fraiser and two orderlies loading Dr Jackson onto a gurney and then running out with O'Neill at their side. And he knew at that moment that he'd have to get the report about what exactly had happened on a supposed 'simple' mission from Major Carter and Teal'c, because there would be no way he'd be able to drag Jack O'Neill away from the Infirmary for long enough to get any sense out of him.
So he'd spoken to the other half of SG-1 and heard a report of the team running into a phalanx of Jaffa guards, of the planet they were visiting being host to a previously unknown Jaffa training facility for the Goa'uld Yu. Heard how they just managed to evade capture, but not without price, not without Daniel Jackson being severely injured by a staff weapon blast.
And he's still waiting to hear how SG-1's archaeologist is. Had planned on waiting outside along with the rest of SG-1, only to be told by Dr Fraiser that she had no idea how long they were going to be in surgery and she would inform them when they were out. So he'd gone back to his office, watching as Teal'c turned in the direction of his on-base quarters and Sam Carter went searching for coffee. And he hadn't bothered to ask O'Neill where he would be, knew that, even with Dr Fraiser's suggestion, the Colonel would wait outside the Infirmary for as long as it took. Knew that the other man would have been in there with her if Fraiser hadn't threatened him with actual bodily harm to stay out of her way while she was working to save Daniel. He has no doubt that she will do what she can; after all, Janet Fraiser is the best doctor he's ever seen, but he doesn't know if even the remarkable skill of her and her team will be enough for the young man he saw covered in blood and pale as ice hanging between his team-mates.
And suddenly he's inexplicably reminded of the wake they'd held for Daniel when they thought he'd died on Oannes. He remembers Jack taking out his frustrations on his car window, and when he'd asked him what was on his mind the reply had been 'Retirement'. And he knows that if they lose Daniel tonight then they'll lose Jack, as well. Knows that Jack O'Neill will turn his back on the Stargate Project without hesitation.
He doesn't know exactly when it started, but he knows it did. Knows that both of them have the air of familiarity about them that he used to have with his wife before she passed away - the casual touches, the unthought about glances. He knows it had been building, knows that from the moment Jack O'Neill returned from the second mission to Abydos and brought Daniel Jackson with him that tension had been simmering between the two men. He's been watching them for years now, watching and waiting. He still remembers when he realised it himself, long before he believes either of the two men involved knew themselves.
It had been the funeral they'd held for Daniel after Oannes, and he'd turned to Colonel O'Neill to hand over to him for the eulogy, only he remembers not wanting to hand over to O'Neill. Remembers watching the other man since he'd set foot in the Gateroom. At first he'd thought he was seeing the grief of someone who had lost a friend instead of just a colleague. But then it had hit him. The look on Jack O'Neill's face was exactly the same look his sister had had on her face when she gave the eulogy for her first husband. And although that knowledge should have shocked him to the core, it didn't. He's always known there was something between O'Neill and Jackson, something more than colleagues, something more than friends. He'd just thought it was a closeness borne out of being two of the only ones left from the original mission to Abydos. He knows that Jack, Daniel and Major Ferretti had all taken Major Kawalsky's death hard. But this was different, so much more different.
Part of him wishes he didn't know, wishes he had the cloak of deniability to hide behind, but he also knows that, if it ever came out, he would back the two men to the hilt. He knows he should be part of the 'don't ask, don't tell'. That, as the SGC's commanding officer especially, he should have thrown Daniel out and had Jack up on a court-martial the minute he realised what was happening, the minute he realised they taken that final step, the minute it had gone past longing thoughts and fleeting considerations. And maybe he would have when he'd first started working there, before he'd realised that the people who work in Cheyenne Mountain are so much more than colleagues and team-mates, more than friends, even. They're family. He sees it in every man, woman and Jaffa who works under him. He saw it in Major Michaels when she sat up in the Infirmary for 7 hours talking to a still unconscious member of her team because Dr Fraiser had said it might help if he could hear a familiar voice. He saw it when Major Cotterell stood in front of him and requested leave for all of SG-7 in order to attend the funeral of Lieutenant Anderson's sister because they were "the only family he had left now" and they didn't want him to face it alone.
And he has to admit, Daniel seems to have been a stabilising influence on O'Neill. He'd heard some of the airmen comment that the Colonel had been less irascible over the past few months. Hammond chuckles to himself, that wasn't exactly how the airmen had put it, but it sounds better than the 'he's been less of a grouchy bastard recently' that he'd originally overheard. And, miracle on miracles, he'd even started taking an interest in the pre-mission briefings...
~#~
Hammond looked around the briefing table at the two people already sitting. "Do you have any idea what's keeping Colonel O'Neill and Dr Jackson?"
Sam Carter shook her head. "I can go and check Daniel's office, sir?"
Hammond was just about to tell her to go when he heard voices outside the briefing room and the two men in question walked in. "I'm glad you could make it. I hope we're not keeping you from anything important."
Running his fingers through slightly tousled hair, Daniel Jackson nodded to the General. "Ah, no, sorry we're late, sir, I couldn't find all my notes," he said, placing some folders on the table and taking a seat.
"I take it you have them all now?" Hammond asked.
O'Neill answered for him. "Yes, he does. It was hard going, but we managed to get everything together in the end."
Ignoring the grin on the Colonel's face and the flush steadily creeping up Jackson's, the General nodded. "Can we begin this, people." It wasn't a question.
"Of course," replied Daniel, standing up and handing out a folder to each of the people around the table and clicking the remote to bring the first image up on the large screen. "This is one of the images the MALP sent back from P4X-926. I have reason to believe the planet was once the stronghold of a Goa'uld named Angra Mainyu."
"What makes you think that, son?" Hammond questioned.
Daniel pointed to the image of the inscription above the entrance to what looked like a temple. "The words... they actually translate as 'Temple of Angra Mainyu,'" he shrugged.
"I have not heard of this Goa'uld," Teal'c informed them.
"I'm not surprised," Daniel said. "From the looks of the planet it hasn't been inhabited in centuries. The temples are overgrown and there's no sign of life. If he was a System Lord, then it looks like he was either taken out or went to ground a long time ago."
"So, what's this Angry Manguy about?"
"Angra Mainyu," Daniel automatically corrected the Colonel. "He was one of the main gods in Persian mythology. You may know him as Ahriman."
Hammond noticed that O'Neill's face remained blank.
"Angra Mainyu was the destructive spirit of the Zoroastrian religion. His... good, for want of a better word, counterpart was Ahura Mazda, or Ohrmazd-"
"This is the guy with the rhubarb!" interrupted O'Neill, suddenly looking inordinately pleased with himself.
"Rhubarb?" Hammond looked from O'Neill to Jackson.
"Er, how to explain this?" Daniel muttered to himself, before turning his attention back on the General. "Ahura Mazda created the universe and within it placed the primeval bull and the perfect man. Angra Mainyu wanted to destroy this, so he mortally injured both of them. But, from the seed of the man sprang an androgynous rhubarb, the leaves of which created the first human couple."
Carter chuckled. "So, according to these guys, we're descended from a rhubarb?"
"Yeah, that's about it." Daniel matched her smile.
"You know, the frightening thing is, I can actually look at, say, SG-2 and see where this guy is coming from."
Daniel smirked at O'Neill words. "I'll tell Ferretti you said that," he warned.
"So, do you have any idea as to what's happened to this Goa'uld?" Hammond tried to get the briefing back on track.
"Well, the prophet Zoroaster prophesied a last showdown between Angra Mainyu and Ahura Mazda. It's entirely possible that this actually happened and what we think of as Persian mythology is actually a chronicle of a battle between two of the Goa'uld," Daniel postulated.
"Either way, it looks like someone took out this guy, so I don't envision any trouble waiting for us on the planet."
"Dr Jackson, do you agree with the Colonel?"
Daniel nodded. "The MALP readings suggest that the planet's deserted and has been for some time. We shouldn't have any trouble."
"Very well, SG-1, your mission is a go. Be ready to leave for P4X-926 at 1300 hours." Hammond gathered up his papers and headed out of the room.
He'd only just reached his office when he realised he'd forgot to get the second folder of MALP information off Dr Jackson. Putting the things he had remembered on his desk, he headed back to the briefing room, surprised to hear Jack O'Neill's voice still coming from within.
"...can I say? The rhubarb bit stuck with me."
"I wonder why." And it seemed like Dr Jackson was in there with him.
"Well, they're long, hard and pink, kinda. So shoot me if I look at you and think long, hard and-"
"Colonel, Doctor."
O'Neill jumped off from sitting on the briefing table. "Did you need something, sir?"
And wasn't it interesting that Jack O'Neill's voice had that guilty innocence lilt to it Hammond had often heard from him.
"Relax, Colonel, I just came to pick up that second folder of MALP information from Dr Jackson."
"Oh, of course." Daniel picked a folder up from the bottom of the pile sitting next to where O'Neill had been and handed it to him.
Taking the folder from the younger man, Hammond nodded his thanks. "I'll leave you two to your discussion, then. Rhubarb, I believe it was." Heading back out of the briefing room, Hammond waited until he was outside to smile at the spluttered cough that had come from Daniel at his words...
~#~
The knock on the door jolts him from his memories and he looks up to see Dr Fraiser enter his office. "Sit down, Doctor." He motions to the chair in front of his desk. He waits until she is sitting before he asks the question uppermost in his mind. "How is he?"
"Serious, but stable," comes the answer.
"Is he going to..." Damn, he never realised how hard it would be to ask this question. He'd had to ask it about others, so why is it so hard with this man? "Is he going to make it?"
She looks down at her joined hands before answering. "I honestly don't know, sir. He lost a lot of blood and the wound was severe. I believe that if he makes it through the night then he'll make it. We've done as much as we can. At this point it all depends on Daniel."
"Thank you, Doctor. I won't keep you from your duties any further."
And she recognises the dismissal for what it is. The clicking of the shutting door signifying his being alone, he looks down at the reports on his desk, thinking about the spoken reports he's had from Major Carter and Teal'c. There was nothing anyone could have done to prevent what had happened. No one knew about Yu's training facility on the planet. He'd even contacted the Tok'ra to ask them if they'd known of its existence. Jacob had told him that they'd had no idea there was one there, but now that they did they may be able to sabotage it. Had it been any other Tok'ra denying knowledge he might have doubted them, but not Jacob. He'd known Jacob Carter too long, knew the other man was telling him the truth.
So, if nothing could have prevented the events leading up to Daniel's injury, why does he feel so responsible? The weight of command is never so heavy than when one of his people has been injured. And somehow, it always seems worse when it's one of the civilians under his command. He can tell himself that the airmen under him have been through the most rigorous training the Air Force provides. He has people at the SGC that have been part of Special Ops teams, of Black Ops teams even. People that have survived under the worst circumstances. Officers that have proven themselves to be the best of the best and more than capable to handle anything thrown at them. And then there are the archaeologists, the anthropologists, the linguists. Rationally, he knows that SGC can't survive without these people. That they are the ones who interpret the data, who have made most first contact situations viable. So why does he feel like he's throwing kids who have no idea how to swim into the deep end of the pool?
Never mind that it had been Daniel Jackson who insisted he was to be a member of SG-1. That the man had stood before him in native Abydonian robes and told him in no uncertain terms that he was going through that 'Gate with Jack O'Neill. Never mind that Daniel Jackson was one of the first people to ever step foot through the Stargate. That without him there most likely wouldn't be a Stargate Project. He knows that the President had given the original research team only another 14 days when Daniel had been brought on board. That if they hadn't unlocked the secret of how the 'Gate worked then it was due to be packed up and shipped off to Area 51, yet another piece of unexplainable technology lost among the myriad of inexplicable items already there. He knows that Daniel has more than earned his place on the premier team of the Stargate Programme, knows that he fought his way past the initial doubts that many of the Air Force personnel had to the civilian contingent of the Project to become a valued and well-respected member of the SGC. And even though he knows that Dr Daniel Jackson has come through for them time after time after time, he still can't help but hear Dr Fraiser's words run through his mind.
//At this point it all depends on Daniel.//
He can only hope the young man he's grown so fond of doesn't fail them now...
~~<<->>~~
Jack O'Neill can't remember the last time he spoke this much. He's not even sure what he's saying anymore. He's dried up on the childhood anecdotes that Daniel hasn't already heard and he's more than certain that the other man doesn't want to hear a blow by blow account of why JarJar Binks will be the downfall of the Star Wars franchise.
And through it all, through all the whispered words and unspoken pleas, there's only one thought running through his head: that he can't go through this again, can't lose someone else he loves. He's buried too many people that he cares about. Daniel can't leave him like this. What did they ever do to deserve this? They've saved the world he can't remember how many times, surely that puts them one up on the cosmic scale of things, surely the universe owes them a break.
Are you listening, God? And now he knows he's desperate, he's praying to a god he hasn't believed in since he found his son on the floor of the bedroom with his gun lying next to him. He'd been so ready to give it all up when that happened. He'd thought he was through with it all when Charlie died, and then he got dragged back into it, recalled to active duty by General West. And then a blue eyed whirlwind came into his life. A geek in glasses who read books in languages Jack didn't even know existed. Even though Jack had tried to keep the hard exterior, tried not to let anyone else in, it was impossible. When Daniel Jackson had you in his sights, there was no mercy. And somewhere along the line the guy he'd dismissed as nothing more than a bookworm, the guy he'd wanted to shoot when he'd thought they were stuck on Abydos, got under his skin and became his closest friend. He's still not sure when that friendship became something more, just knows that the feelings he had for Daniel stopped being purely platonic. And god help him, Daniel returned his feelings. And now he can't even imagine losing this man.
Lifting Daniel's hand to his cheek, Jack holds it there, feeling the too warm skin.
"I swear to you, Daniel Jackson, if you die on me I will follow your ass to whichever afterlife you go to and kick it back here."
"better... not die... then."
The words were so soft that Jack couldn't help thinking he'd imagined them.
"jack..."
But he didn't imagine that. Standing up so quickly the stool shoots back several inches, Jack looks at Daniel's still too pale face, almost crying out in relief when he sees heavy-lidded blue eyes looking back at him. "Daniel." Jesus, is his voice meant to sound that thick? "Oh God, Daniel." Oh God, thank you. And then as an afterthought, "JANET!"
"What?!" He almost laughs at the panicked look Fraiser throws him as she runs into the room and skids to a stop.
But he can't say anything apart from, "Daniel."
As soon as Fraiser realises Daniel's eyes are open she switches into professional mode, checking his vitals and the readouts of the machines attached to him. And after all of that, she presses a hand to his forehead and asks, "How do you feel?"
"like i got... run over by a horde... of elephants..." And then his eyes close again and Jack's grip on his hand tightens.
"Doc?" Even Jack can hear the panic in that one word, so he's not surprised Fraiser picks up on it.
Only Fraiser is smiling. Why is she smiling? Please let it mean what he thinks. "Relax, Colonel."
"Then he's going to be...?" But for some reason, the words still stick in his throat.
And her smile is widening. "He'll be in and out of it for the next few hours, but he's going to be just fine."
"Oh thank God." Jack drops his head. And he's meant to be a tough Air Force Colonel, so why are his eyes burning, why are his cheeks wet?
"Colonel?" Her hand is warm on his shoulder.
"'m fine," Although even a deaf man could hear the lie in the reply he mumbles out.
"liar..." And his gaze fixes with the blue eyes that are looking at him again. "sound like... I feel..."
Janet's fingers squeeze his shoulder before they move. "Do you want me to give you some time before I report to the General?"
And he's grateful for the suggestion, but dismisses it, shaking his head. Daniel has a lot of friends, it's unfair to leave them hanging over his condition. "No..." he coughs slightly, his voice strengthening as he raises his head to look at Janet. "No, I'll be fine. Go and spread the good news."
She nods, glancing back at Daniel and smiling before leaving.
And then he's alone with Daniel again. Only this time it's different. This time it doesn't feel like there's a cold steel band around his heart, this time he knows there'll be a tomorrow worth seeing. And he knows that they'll soon be inundated with people. That, even though Janet may manage to keep out the majority, at least Carter, Teal'c and Hammond will come and see how Daniel's doing.
"jack?"
"Just thinking, Danny-boy." About how close he came to losing the most important thing in his life, about walking as far away from there as he could if that ever happened.
"shouldn't... dangerous..." And the weak laugh turns into a cough as there's a pause with laboured breathing before, "you okay?"
And shouldn't he be the one asking that question?
"jack?"
"Yeah?" He looks up, realising he never answered Daniel's question.
"love you."
Then there's no need for an answer. No need for any words except, "I love you, too." As the smile spreads across Daniel's face, Jack hears the voices getting closer, recognising Carter's gleeful chatter. "We're about to be invaded. Will you be okay?"
"will be... as long as you're here."
"I'll be here for as long as you want me." As long as you need me.
"how 'bout... forever?"
And there's no hesitation as Jack answers. "You got it." Because there's nowhere else he'd rather be than by this man's side.
"you and me... 'gainst the world, jack."
And as the door to the Infirmary opens and bodies spill into the room, Jack tightens his hold on his lover's hand as he turns to greet the new arrivals. Him and Daniel against the world. Jack grins. Works for him.
End.
