moonlettuce | Crack!fics R Us

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five. Part six. Part seven.

Men Are From Mars, Asgard Are From Othala, Part 8

"Need you, want you." The mantra fell from Rodney's lips as he pulled at John's clothes, the door to Rodney's quarters closing behind them.

John grinned as he wrapped his fingers around Rodney's wrists and spun them around, pressing Rodney against the wall with his hands above his head.

"John--" Rodney tried to pull his hands away but John just tightened his grip. He loved having Rodney against him, all wanting and needy. Lowering his head, he swiped his tongue along Rodney's neck, revelling in the full body shudder that ran through his lover at the touch.

"John, let me go," Rodney pleaded, pushing against John's leg.

"Why should I?" John asked lightly, thumb caressing Rodney's palm.

Rodney leaned forward and captured John's lower lip between his teeth, sucking it into his mouth and running his tongue along it before releasing it and moving back. "Because if you do, I'll do that to an entirely different part of your body."

John felt the heat flush through him at Rodney's words. Laughing, he dragged his lover away from the wall and towards the bed. Pressing their lips together, John dropped back onto the bed, pulling Rodney with him.

John's scream as several sharp things embedded into him was almost drowned out by the yowl coming from under him. Almost.

Rodney yelped as he landed on the floor, John having pushed him off the bed in his haste to get away from the sharp pain in his ass.

"What the hell was that?" John growled, fingers prodding at his ass cheeks to see what the damage was.

"Jo--" Rodney's voice stopped suddenly as he looked at the bed. "Dalek?"

John followed Rodney's gaze, eyes widening at the malevolent ball of fluff that was staring back at him and hissing. "Rodney," he said, rather surprised to find his voice was coming out a lot more calmly than he felt, "why is there a cat on the bed?"

Rodney didn't answer as he pushed himself to his feet. "Dalek? Is that really you?"

The cat stopped hissing as it turned to look at Rodney. "Mrawr."

Rodney crossed the distance to the bed in two strides, scooping the cat up in his arms and rubbing his cheek against its fur. The cat settled down instantly in his arms and started purring.

"Rodney?" John stared at the very obviously from Earth cat that was being held by Rodney in his very obviously not on Earth quarters.

Rodney looked up, his fingers never once stopping scratching the cat behind its ears. "I don't know how, John, but this is Dalek. My cat," he added. "John, meet Dalek. Dalek, meet John." Rodney grinned as he glanced down at the animal he was holding. "He kept me warm when you couldn't," he murmured at the cat, eyes shining with delight when he looked back up at John.

John took a step closer to Rodney, holding his hand out for the cat - for Dalek - to sniff. When no objection was forthcoming, John's fingers joined Rodney's in stroking behind Dalek's ears. The purring increased in volume.

"He likes you," smiled Rodney.

"Like his owner, he has good taste," John replied. "Although, unlike his owner, as far as I know he wasn't on the expedition manifest. Not unless you've been hiding him in your sock drawer for the past year."

Rodney snorted. "Hardly. I tried to bring him as my personal item, but they objected on the flimsy grounds of the unknowns of introducing a non-native animal into the Pegasus ecosystem." He rolled his eyes. "I mean, it's not as if he hadn't had his shots."

"And now he's here," John said, his fingers stopping scratching until Dalek head-butted him in the hand to make him start again. Now he was here on the same day as the Daedalus had arrived. John frowned. He thought the cats were supposed to go after the rats, not the other way around.

Rodney's hold on Dalek tightened. "He can't go back."

"Rodney--"

"Look, John, he's crossed a galaxy to get here. It's the stuff Disney movies are made of. At least it would be if this wasn't classified and Disney wasn't actually a front for the American government to control its citizens through subliminal mess--"

John shut Rodney up by kissing him as Dalek purred happily between them. They'd have to get Dalek checked out by one of the zoologists, before anything else and-- John pulled back from the kiss. "Rodney?"

"Yes?"

"Where are we going to find kitty litter in Atlantis?"

Back on the Daedalus, Hermiod looked at the long scratches running down his arm. The small endothermic quadruped he'd retrieved for his Beloved had not been the most co-operative of things when Hermiod had gone to get it. Between that, and the shrieking woman who had walked in when he was attempting to wrestle the beast into the stasis cage it would be transported in on the Daedalus, Hermiod hadn't been entirely sure that his course of action was the right one. However, seeing the look on his Beloved's face when he'd seen the feline more than made up for any injury Hermiod had received. Even seeing his Beloved in the arms of *that man* wasn't enough to dampen the joy Hermiod felt when he thought of his Beloved's smile. Hermiod hummed happily to himself and mentally ticked 'Give them their heart's desire' as a roaring, or rather, meowing, success.

End