The raffle's going to be... interesting...

[moonlettuce]

Picture the scene... a few days ago...

Woman What I Work With: Claire, do you still do that convention?

Me: Yeah.

WWIWW: You have a raffle, don't you?

Me: Yeah.

WWIWW: Do you take donations?

Me: Yeah...

(It's at this point, I've got to say that the people who work around me know it's a slash con.)

WWIWW: Okay, I've got some stuff you might be interested in.

::Jump to today::

WWIWW: Claire?

Me: Yeah?

WWIWW: I've got a suitcase in the car. I'll drop it off at yours tonight.

Me: Okay.

::jump to tonight::

Now, before I go any further, I should comment that said woman that I work with? Used to be an Ann Summers rep. In fact, some people may remember her from this post.

And now you all know where this is heading, don't you?

I.. well, no, the convention ::grin::, is now the proud owner of a (really rather large) suitcase of Ann Summers stock.

There are more boxes of jelly penises in my house than I know what to do with.

Only, it wasn't just the novelty penis items we got. Oh, no. She gave us everything she had left. Including the naughty nurse outfit, the all brand new and still with price tags in some cases (and dude! Ann Summers is expensive!) lingerie, the flashing nipple lights, the naked men playing cards, a gimp mask and at least one set of feathery things that I looked at for a good five minutes before I finally gave up on trying to work out what they were. And that's just some of it.

The vibrators (and there were several) unfortunately had had the batteries left in and had corroded or no longer work (yes, I tried them) so had to be thrown out. (This also means that if my bin men look inside my rubbish this week, they're going to think I've had a far more active Bank Holiday weekend than I actually did. Me, and possibly the entirety of Newcastle rugby team...)

There was one point where I was almost completely surrounded by sex toys. It's been an amusing night to say the least...

ETA: Just to clarify, the jelly penises are the edible kind of jelly penises, not the other kind. Personally, I'm not sure which would be more amusing ;D

Comments

[libitina]

You might be able to fix some of the corrosion issues with a wire brush.

*covets your stock*

[moonlettuce]

::grin:: I was very o_O O_o O_O when I opened the suitcase for the first time.

[zellieh]

OMG! The convention is going to be *hilarious*! Hee!

"There are more boxes of jelly penises in my house than I know what to do with." has to be one of the best lines I've ever seen in a post, although "Me, and possibly the entirety of Newcastle rugby team" was the point where I laughed out loud. *g*

[moonlettuce]

And possibly full of penises with googly eyes. Googly eyes!

[zellieh]

Googly eyes? Srsly? o.0

I'm glad you already said you threw out the vibrators, because that was my first thought, and that would just be WRONG. In oh-so-many ways. But, srsly, googly eyes? Who thinks, "I'm making a sex toy, it needs to be sexy -- I know! I'll put googly eyes on it!" *laughs*

[moonlettuce]

There's a bunch of keyrings. Penises (penii?) with googly eyes and brightly coloured rubber strands for hair. They're kinda cute, yet kinda scary...

[zellieh]

Well, that's a relief. I think I can cope with the penii keyrings, although they do sound scary. I'm looking forward to the raffle now. *g*

[instantramen]

...Flashing nipple lights sound more like part of the outfit of a raver who likes to wear as little as possible. XD

[moonlettuce]

::grin:: Part of me's tempted to get them out of the box just to try them ;D

[instantramen]

*clears throat* Excuse me, I believe your headlights are on.

[fides]

ROTFLMAO!

This is going to be highly amusing this year.

[moonlettuce]

Amusing with a lot of O_O thrown in, me thinks ;D

[fides]

Somehow the O_O is pretty much a given ;-)

[blktauna]

You know, I think I will have to cross the ocean later this year cause I so don't want to miss this.

@.@

[moonlettuce]

*\o/* You really, really should :D

And if you can't, I can always send you a penis keyring with googly eyes and green hair ;D