Fic: Northern Lights, SPN, Dean/Castiel

[moonlettuce]

Title: Northern Lights
Author: Claire
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG
Summary: "I didn't Fall because you thought about it, Dean."
Notes: From the deancastiel quick fire challenge using the prompt words compensate tree continue soul.

The bark of the tree is rough under Dean's hand as he reaches out and presses his fingers to the trunk. "I'm not sure what Bobby was more surprised at," he says quietly. "Finding a full grown tree in his yard or finding you naked at the foot of it."

"If the what the hell have you done, you idiot angel, was anything to go by, probably the latter." Castiel doesn't ask how Dean knew he was there and Dean's kinda grateful. He doesn't think he could explain it, he can barely explain it to himself.

He certainly can't explain to Sam why he'd already turned the Impala around, was already heading back to Bobby's, before his cell even rang.

Get back here, Dean.

Sam's the one who's always believed in shit like fate and destiny. Sam's the one who has faith. Dean's just the one who fucks up everything, everyone, he touches.

I know your soul, Dean Winchester--

Well, ain't you the fucking lucky one--

Dean's fingers tighten against the tree, sharpness biting into the palm of his hand. It wasn't meant to happen like this. They stopped it, they survived, they won. Lucifer was cast down and Sam was still Sam and the host of fucking Heaven had decreed it done.

And Cas--

"Why?" Dean turns around and looks at him, looks at Cas, standing there in jeans too big for him and one of Dean's shirts.

Because even if Dean thought about it, even if he wanted it, he would never have asked. Hell, it was only when his foot was flooring the gas and his hands were wrapped so tightly around the Impala's steering wheel that he could barely feel his fingers, that he admitted to himself that he had wanted this. And then he'd wondered if him wanting it had made it happen, if Cas being cast out of his home was Dean's fucking reward.

And he'd lied to Sam. Had told him that it had been the shit-hole diner they'd stopped at earlier that had had him heaving his guts up at the side of the road. Because what else could he have said. Hey, Sammy, I was real good and didn't fuck the angel, even though I thought about him on his knees pretty much every fucking night. But guess what? I brought him down anyway. Because, apparently, I'm just that fucking special.

"What?" Because Cas is smiling at him, fucking smiling at him.

"I didn't Fall because you thought about it, Dean."

Dean's pretty sure he didn't say any of that out loud, which means that either Cas is already able to read Dean like a book, or he's kept some of the angel mojo and is still tuned into Winchester radio. Dean's not entirely sure which one he'd prefer.

And Cas is moving now, closing the distance between them until he's against Dean and Dean is against the tree. And he's still fucking smiling.

"I Fell because I thought about it." Voice soft and careful. "The first time I looked at you, I wanted you. And I continue to want you."

Dean can feel Cas's heartbeat. Body pressed against Dean and heartbeat running through them both.

"Do you still want me, Dean?"

"Yes--" Because Cas should never sound that unsure, should never think that Dean will ever not want him.

But--

"Jesus, Cas--" Because Dean's not worth it, certainly not enough to compensate being cast out of Heaven, of his family. "You gave up everything."

And Cas looks at him, just looks at him, as he places a hand on Dean's cheek, fingers warm and perfect and human. "No, I didn't."

Comments

[montanaharper]

Ooh, goodie. Now I can delicious this. *g*

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

still one of my favourites... *happy sigh*

and I usually hate fics whenre Castiel falls

but this was perfect!

[someblazingstar.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's really sweet.

[kitchensexslave.livejournal.com]

I just cried a little... lovely!

[shetiger.livejournal.com]

*flail*

Oh my god, that last line is totally making me choke up. Perfect.

[amory-vain.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love this. So much.

[blualbino.livejournal.com]

Oh, Dean's guilt is so sad (and amazingly in-character, BTW) but the ending is very sweet :)

[fledge.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeeeeeh that's lovely ^.^

[star-watcher81.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! That was just perfect and sweet and adorable. *favorites* Thank you!

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

I think this Castiel should get put in the "sauntered vaguely downwards" group along with Crowley. :D


I love the fact that they *didn't* have sex...the desire was there, yes, but the choice to fall was made on the strength of emotion, not hormones. Makes it more real, you know? And Cas is *happy* about it...and Dean soon will be. \0/

[villainxatxhert.livejournal.com]

Awww, this was adorable. And for some reason the picture of Cas in jeans always does things for me...so you get extra points for that one.

And the whole thing with Dean being a good little boy and still thinking he screwed Cas over was good in a Winchester sort of angsty way... Plus, Bobby, anything with Bobby in it autimatically wins in my book.

[kira-bouviea.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful. Your characterizations, word usage, everything.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Fantastic last line. And on top of everything else, it got me imagining Bobby's reaction to finding a naked (ex-)angel in his front yard. *g*

[lee-ashburn.livejournal.com]

Simply wonderful...I just love happy endings :D

[stageira.livejournal.com]

I kinda hate you right now.... but eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

*hugs Dean and Castiel* At least you gave them each other!

Bobby!FTW! :)

*smishes you*

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

::grin::

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you :D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked :D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Sorry for making you cry! Glad you liked :D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

When I was writing it all was thinking was "Damn it, Dean, you are worth it to him..."

::grin::

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you!

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Thank you :D I just kept thinking that Castiel will always think Dean's worth it, even if Dean doesn't. Although I'm sure the huge amount of sex they're going to have will persuade Dean somehow ;D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

::grin:: ::glomps you::

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

::grin:: Glad you liked :D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

::grin:: In my mind, the angels understood why he was fell, which was why he didn't end up as a baby with no memories ;D

And they're so going to make up for the lack of sex. I have the image of Sam and Bobby both trying to block out the noises with pillows over their heads ::g::

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Bobby is very much of the utterly brilliant ::grin::

Glad you liked :D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed :D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

I just totally imagined Bobby getting up in the morning and realising there's a tree in his yard and is that someone naked? then is that-- then what's that fool angel done... then phoning Dean ::grin:: Of course, although he'll never tell Dean this, Bobby's glad that Castiel fell. Because at least someone else can see Dean's worth it, even if it's not Dean himself.

:D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And I love the happy endings as well :D (Doesn't mean I don't like to see them getting put through the wringer ::grin::, but I want to see them with a happy ending ;D)

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

::grin::

[pandarus.livejournal.com]

Yay! Oh, delightful.

::bounces::

And a tree! Is it an apple tree?

[omphalos.livejournal.com]

This was beautiful :)

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Is it an apple tree?

Absolutely. Juicy, red and really quite delicious ;D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[fledge.livejournal.com]

*squiggles* ^.^

[invisiblelove.livejournal.com]

BEAUTIFUL <33 I love them so much, it's slightly ridiculous. What a lovely piece. Wonderful job!

[kitchensexslave.livejournal.com]

Don't be sorry, it was the good kind!

[necro-omen13.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww, LOVE!

*flails*
CAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
He fell for Dean...sorta.
:D
And Dean knew something had happened!
*squees*

Those last two lines are just made of awesomesauce.

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked :D

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

::grin:: Because Castiel knows Dean's worth it, even if Dean doesn't ;D

[necro-omen13.livejournal.com]

YES! Totally! That is Dean/Cas summed up in a sentence!

[mysticsoblivion.livejournal.com]

OMGs that was so beautiful... you almost had me crying!!!!!

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

::hands you a tissue::

[immo-love.livejournal.com]

it makes me cry :(
perfect ending

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Ack! Sorry for the reply that's nearly a year late, but I never got notification on your comment and just saw it now.

Thank you! I'm really pleased you liked it, although I'm sorry I made you cry...