moonlettuce | Fic: Shadows of Lethe, SPN

Title: Shadows of Lethe
Author: Claire
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Because Dean's not Dean unless his failure is written on his skin...
Notes: Written for

kink_bingo, for the Caning square.

Dean arches as the cane lays a welt across his back, fire and redemption in one stroke. "Another," he gasps, plea turning into a wordless cry as a line of pain explodes across his thighs, criss-crossing lines of burning over his skin.

This is the first time he's trusted someone he wasn't paying with this. Trusted them with his face turned away and his hands grasping at air. Trusted them with him, with the map of his life laid out over his back in red and black. But more, it's the first time he's done this since he crawled out of an unmarked grave, soul restored and flesh healed, his own story removed from his skin like it never happened, taken from him by the angel who saved him. Saved him by taking everything Dean was and leaving him with nothing but a hand print. A hand print that signals he's not Dean Winchester any more, but that he's Castiel's.

But he can't go through any more days not being him. Not when Sam's still out there, still needing him. So he needs Castiel to give back what he took, needs Cas to make him Dean again.

"Again," Dean says. Because there is still so much more to place back on his flesh, so many more words to tell his story.

"Dean--" More hesitant than Dean's ever heard Cas being before.

"Again. Cas, please--" Cas owes him this, owes it to Dean to give him his life back completely, instead of just this shell that was too new and too fragile and too not fucking Dean.

And he can feel it happening. There's a lick of fire over his left hip replacing the werewolf scar that he got when he was fifteen and still stupid, a slash of red down his thigh instead of the shtriga bite that had gotten infected and had him delirious for three days.

"Again--"

But nothing comes.

"Again--" Because Castiel can't do this, can't leave him like this, undone and incomplete.

But then Cas is there, hand on the mark on Dean's shoulder and words ghosting across Dean's skin. "You are complete, Dean." Voice dropping to a barely audible murmur as Cas moves even closer. "You're perfect."

Even though Dean's done too many things to be anywhere close to perfect. But this is Castiel, this is Cas, the one person who's never lied to him. Which means if Cas didn't bring him back broken, didn't bring him back incomplete, then--

"I'm forgiven?" Dean asks, images of Hell, of failure, of Sam, running through his mind. There's a noise behind him, bamboo hitting stone as the cane drops to the floor and Castiel is in front of him, hands on Dean's cheeks and lips brushing across the wetness on his face.

"Yes, Dean." His voice is quiet as his hand carefully caresses Dean's back, fire and pain and blood softening into something else, softening into something that's nothing like the heaviness Dean's been carrying since his father put Sam in his arms and told him to run. "You are forgiven."

And for the first time in his life, Dean truly believes.

Fin